Sunday, March 21, 2004
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT:
Those liberal elitist ivory tower political scientists always complain that they can't test their "theories" in the real world. The only good thing about San Francisco's recent month of "marriages" is that we can now see the DATA about the 4,037 "couples" who got "licenses". This confirms my own suspicion about who the real villains are behind this anti-capitalistic assault on the manufacturers of closet doors. G. K. Chesterton had already pointed them out in The Man Who Was Thursday. "Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it. ... Bigamists respect marriage, or they would not go through the highly ceremonial and even ritualistic formality of bigamy. But philosophers despise marriage as marriage."
Those same sex "couples" are just like the bigamists, with a distorted "respect" for weddings, or at least for wedding gowns. They were only unwitting tools being manipulated by our old enemies on the campuses. The proof? "68.8 percent held at least a college degree" and another 19% had "some college". More than six out of seven had been exposed to the indoctrination of our liberal universities. I think we know just which schools those were. How many of those "similar pairs" (as the figure skating world calls such unaesthetic same gender couplings) went to good private religious institutions like Regent University or Bob Jones University?
The solution to this leftist brainwashing is obvious. We should end all taxpayer funding of higher "education". It looks like Our Noble Leader is making a first step to this goal. "The Bush administration is proposing to redirect three financial aid programs that disproportionately benefit some of the wealthiest private colleges in New England. The move would shift tens of millions of dollars away from the region and toward the Sun Belt." Read about it at "Shift eyed in aid for N.E. colleges".
Though a good beginning, this does not go far enough. Privatize them completely, and leave post-high school studies in the hands of the churches -- or at least, of our conservative churches. Frankly, that means the only schools we can trust are the ones mocked by liberals as "Bible colleges". Even the Catholic universities can not be trusted. Too many of them suffer from the virus of Thomistic Aristotelian "logic", which subverted the dogmatic Augustinian truths of medieval times. That challenge to traditional unquestioned faith, originated by those openly homosexual ancient Greeks, was injected back into Europe by translations from Arabic texts. Clearly this was an early radical Muslim attempt at revenge for their losses in the Crusades.
But there is even more frightening news in the report from Sodom on the Bay. The "Same-sex marriage demographics" CHART shows a "Gender breakdown" (an obvious Freudian slip) of 57% Lesbian, 42% Gay, and "0.3% Unknown". Does this mean there were 24 people who couldn't tell what organs they had, or does it mean something even worse? Were the warnings of Senator Santorum correct? Could this be a dozen couples who were not only cross dressers, but cross species as well? Do we need to require both participants in weddings to have only two feet?
Those liberal elitist ivory tower political scientists always complain that they can't test their "theories" in the real world. The only good thing about San Francisco's recent month of "marriages" is that we can now see the DATA about the 4,037 "couples" who got "licenses". This confirms my own suspicion about who the real villains are behind this anti-capitalistic assault on the manufacturers of closet doors. G. K. Chesterton had already pointed them out in The Man Who Was Thursday. "Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it. ... Bigamists respect marriage, or they would not go through the highly ceremonial and even ritualistic formality of bigamy. But philosophers despise marriage as marriage."
Those same sex "couples" are just like the bigamists, with a distorted "respect" for weddings, or at least for wedding gowns. They were only unwitting tools being manipulated by our old enemies on the campuses. The proof? "68.8 percent held at least a college degree" and another 19% had "some college". More than six out of seven had been exposed to the indoctrination of our liberal universities. I think we know just which schools those were. How many of those "similar pairs" (as the figure skating world calls such unaesthetic same gender couplings) went to good private religious institutions like Regent University or Bob Jones University?
The solution to this leftist brainwashing is obvious. We should end all taxpayer funding of higher "education". It looks like Our Noble Leader is making a first step to this goal. "The Bush administration is proposing to redirect three financial aid programs that disproportionately benefit some of the wealthiest private colleges in New England. The move would shift tens of millions of dollars away from the region and toward the Sun Belt." Read about it at "Shift eyed in aid for N.E. colleges".
Though a good beginning, this does not go far enough. Privatize them completely, and leave post-high school studies in the hands of the churches -- or at least, of our conservative churches. Frankly, that means the only schools we can trust are the ones mocked by liberals as "Bible colleges". Even the Catholic universities can not be trusted. Too many of them suffer from the virus of Thomistic Aristotelian "logic", which subverted the dogmatic Augustinian truths of medieval times. That challenge to traditional unquestioned faith, originated by those openly homosexual ancient Greeks, was injected back into Europe by translations from Arabic texts. Clearly this was an early radical Muslim attempt at revenge for their losses in the Crusades.
But there is even more frightening news in the report from Sodom on the Bay. The "Same-sex marriage demographics" CHART shows a "Gender breakdown" (an obvious Freudian slip) of 57% Lesbian, 42% Gay, and "0.3% Unknown". Does this mean there were 24 people who couldn't tell what organs they had, or does it mean something even worse? Were the warnings of Senator Santorum correct? Could this be a dozen couples who were not only cross dressers, but cross species as well? Do we need to require both participants in weddings to have only two feet?
Saturday, March 20, 2004
ABORIGINAL INTENT:
Liberals are screaming about a proposed bill to let Congress overturn Supreme Court decisions. [I wrote more about this flawed idea, and a much better one, on The American Street at "Stuff The Courts".] It is fun to watch leftists turn into born-again lovers of The Federalist Papers to find arguments for the separation of powers. Usually they attack that work as propaganda for a centralized pro-business government. It's the same sort of hypocrisy which lets them praise Jefferson for his implicitly anarchist Declaration of Independence, while never mentioning how he set the precedent for Bush's cultural war against the Islamonazis by attacking the Barbary Pirates. (And he did it without either a declaration of war or permission from the Congress of Vienna, and never found any WMDs there. Both unilateral and preemptive!!)
The liberals were right in their previous suspicions about that book. It was a pack of promises, put forth only to win ratification for the Constitution. Alexander Hamilton even felt compelled (in No. 79) to butter up "The enlightened friends to good government". He certainly knew the masses better than that. The public then was as easily misled by the literal rabble rousing of "democrats" like Tom Paine, as they are today by born-again Bush critics like Howard Stern.
For months now lefties have complained about polls showing most Americans believed Saddam did have Weapons Of Unusual Size at the start of the Baghdad Reconquista. They blame the media, especially the fare of balladromic Faux News. They always fail to see the obvious -- if the voters are that ignorant, then someone else really needs to make their decisions for them. The Senator from ESS, out of sheer civic spirit, is working on that now.
Back to the new liberal canon. In No. 47 James Madison based his praise of independent judges on a popular writer of that day. "The British constitution was to Montesquieu, what Homer has been to the didactic writers on epic poetry." Always be suspicious whenever someone quotes any Frenchman. Madison's favorite 18th century Baron showed early signs of the current French love of appeasement, when he suggested that women were best "to govern an empire" because "their very weakness gives them more gentleness and moderation, which, rather than the harsh and ferocious virtues, can make for a good environment." Somehow, that doesn't sound like a good description of the Democratic Presidentress In Waiting (or of *ahem* certain distaff commentators).
Homer, I remind you, was blind. So was Montesquieu -- to the heroism of a conquering ruler. His dull spirit welcomed the safety of "balanced" collective inertia. He would have hated Our Noble Leader's unilateral preemptive application to the government of Iraq of the election by appointment allowed in Bush v. Gore. (Scalia's unsigned decision only said it could not be used as a precedent here. It never precluded that in other countries.)
Madison (who himself launched a preemptive war to conquer Canada -- a good idea which would have spared us the threat of gay marriages and unfairly cheap medicine just next door) in No. 47 praised "The constitution of Massachusetts ... [which] declares "that the legislative department shall never exercise the executive and judicial powers, or either of them". That was all said long before Adam met Steve in Boston. It was also setting up a straw Congress to argue against.
Under the proposed new bill, Congress would do the very opposite of exercising judicial power. Even the Supreme Court itself would do less exercising of that power. After two hundred and fifteen years, don't they deserve a rest from their labor? Especially since, like most doddering old fogies, they seem to be getting -- dare I say it -- senile in their decisions. Would a young and vigorous John Marshall have dreamed of telling Texans that they can't jail the heterosexually challenged? Actually John died a year before the Alamo, but I am sure Senator Santorum would be interested in the domestic habits which led to the name of those pre-Anglo residents of the Lone Star State, the Karankawa. It is not recorded how they felt about berdache.
Liberals are screaming about a proposed bill to let Congress overturn Supreme Court decisions. [I wrote more about this flawed idea, and a much better one, on The American Street at "Stuff The Courts".] It is fun to watch leftists turn into born-again lovers of The Federalist Papers to find arguments for the separation of powers. Usually they attack that work as propaganda for a centralized pro-business government. It's the same sort of hypocrisy which lets them praise Jefferson for his implicitly anarchist Declaration of Independence, while never mentioning how he set the precedent for Bush's cultural war against the Islamonazis by attacking the Barbary Pirates. (And he did it without either a declaration of war or permission from the Congress of Vienna, and never found any WMDs there. Both unilateral and preemptive!!)
The liberals were right in their previous suspicions about that book. It was a pack of promises, put forth only to win ratification for the Constitution. Alexander Hamilton even felt compelled (in No. 79) to butter up "The enlightened friends to good government". He certainly knew the masses better than that. The public then was as easily misled by the literal rabble rousing of "democrats" like Tom Paine, as they are today by born-again Bush critics like Howard Stern.
For months now lefties have complained about polls showing most Americans believed Saddam did have Weapons Of Unusual Size at the start of the Baghdad Reconquista. They blame the media, especially the fare of balladromic Faux News. They always fail to see the obvious -- if the voters are that ignorant, then someone else really needs to make their decisions for them. The Senator from ESS, out of sheer civic spirit, is working on that now.
Back to the new liberal canon. In No. 47 James Madison based his praise of independent judges on a popular writer of that day. "The British constitution was to Montesquieu, what Homer has been to the didactic writers on epic poetry." Always be suspicious whenever someone quotes any Frenchman. Madison's favorite 18th century Baron showed early signs of the current French love of appeasement, when he suggested that women were best "to govern an empire" because "their very weakness gives them more gentleness and moderation, which, rather than the harsh and ferocious virtues, can make for a good environment." Somehow, that doesn't sound like a good description of the Democratic Presidentress In Waiting (or of *ahem* certain distaff commentators).
Homer, I remind you, was blind. So was Montesquieu -- to the heroism of a conquering ruler. His dull spirit welcomed the safety of "balanced" collective inertia. He would have hated Our Noble Leader's unilateral preemptive application to the government of Iraq of the election by appointment allowed in Bush v. Gore. (Scalia's unsigned decision only said it could not be used as a precedent here. It never precluded that in other countries.)
Madison (who himself launched a preemptive war to conquer Canada -- a good idea which would have spared us the threat of gay marriages and unfairly cheap medicine just next door) in No. 47 praised "The constitution of Massachusetts ... [which] declares "that the legislative department shall never exercise the executive and judicial powers, or either of them". That was all said long before Adam met Steve in Boston. It was also setting up a straw Congress to argue against.
Under the proposed new bill, Congress would do the very opposite of exercising judicial power. Even the Supreme Court itself would do less exercising of that power. After two hundred and fifteen years, don't they deserve a rest from their labor? Especially since, like most doddering old fogies, they seem to be getting -- dare I say it -- senile in their decisions. Would a young and vigorous John Marshall have dreamed of telling Texans that they can't jail the heterosexually challenged? Actually John died a year before the Alamo, but I am sure Senator Santorum would be interested in the domestic habits which led to the name of those pre-Anglo residents of the Lone Star State, the Karankawa. It is not recorded how they felt about berdache.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
GOOD NEWS ABOUT UNEMPLOYMENT:
As the nation continues to suffer the job losses caused by The Clenis's economic policies (carefully planned to happen only after he left office, so that She Who Must Not Be Named can run for President herself promising to restore Clintonian Happy Days), we may console ourselves that at least one more liberal has also had to hit the streets. In Portland, Oregon, Kevin Hayden, blogger of ReachM High Cowboy Network Noose and more recently The American Street, has had to start looking for work too. He therefore gives us the good news that his fiercely anti-Bush blogging may be in shorter supply for months to come. If you know of any jobs there, don't tell him about them. In a spirit of Good Riddance, this has inspired me to write a poem, in the style of that other sniping liberal, Mad Kane. Of course I myself naturally chose a noble patriotic poem as my model. You may go enjoy its inspired words at "On Dead Blog Sites".
As the nation continues to suffer the job losses caused by The Clenis's economic policies (carefully planned to happen only after he left office, so that She Who Must Not Be Named can run for President herself promising to restore Clintonian Happy Days), we may console ourselves that at least one more liberal has also had to hit the streets. In Portland, Oregon, Kevin Hayden, blogger of ReachM High Cowboy Network Noose and more recently The American Street, has had to start looking for work too. He therefore gives us the good news that his fiercely anti-Bush blogging may be in shorter supply for months to come. If you know of any jobs there, don't tell him about them. In a spirit of Good Riddance, this has inspired me to write a poem, in the style of that other sniping liberal, Mad Kane. Of course I myself naturally chose a noble patriotic poem as my model. You may go enjoy its inspired words at "On Dead Blog Sites".
Sunday, March 07, 2004
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION:
It's sad to see how good Catholic girls like Jeanne D'Orleans, corrupted by liberalism, are promoting denunciations of Our Noble Leader like this one by Jimmy Breslin. "In his first campaign commercial, George Bush reached down and molested the dead. ...this second George Bush came up with the badge of a Port Authority cop, George Howard, who died. ...George W. Bush acts like he's entitled to treat the remains of a dead man like a souvenir. Now he shows a commercial with dead bodies, or body parts, covered with an American flag being taken through the smoke and flames of the world trade center attack." You can find his entire rant at "He molests the dead".
This shows just what kind of mud slinging lefties will stoop to. Breslin should put up or shut up. If he really believes Bush is guilty of necrophilia, then he should report that to the police and have him put where Martha Stewart can redecorate his cell. Maybe Jimmy is just accusing the only President we've got of sin? Well, that won't wash either. Consider the list of the Seven Deadly Sins, so memorably depicted in one old movie. Notice that "molesting the dead" is not one of them, nor is waving the badges of dead police officers, much less showing corpses in commercials. (That absurd prohibition would also cripple the arts. You would no longer be able to make things like this sacred keychain. But I'm sure liberals wouldn't care, if they could thereby shut down pious films.)
Wrath, however, is on the list. Clearly Breslin and his accessory at Body and Soul are guilty of this. Now if they find a canon lawyer who's not a good Opus Dei member, he'll no doubt spout disingenuous arguments that Jimmy and Jeanne aren't really guilty. One Catechism says "2303 Deliberate hatred is contrary to charity. Hatred of the neighbor is a sin when one deliberately wishes him evil. Hatred of the neighbor is a grave sin when one deliberately desires him grave harm." Let them deny, if they dare, that they both want Bush defeated in this year's election. For a True Statesman like him, what more grave harm could there be? To continue their hate-filled course, now that I have explained the proper dogma, would mean they will not only injure their own souls. They will also merit, along with all others who defy the Church's teaching, the traditional punishment for heresy.
It's sad to see how good Catholic girls like Jeanne D'Orleans, corrupted by liberalism, are promoting denunciations of Our Noble Leader like this one by Jimmy Breslin. "In his first campaign commercial, George Bush reached down and molested the dead. ...this second George Bush came up with the badge of a Port Authority cop, George Howard, who died. ...George W. Bush acts like he's entitled to treat the remains of a dead man like a souvenir. Now he shows a commercial with dead bodies, or body parts, covered with an American flag being taken through the smoke and flames of the world trade center attack." You can find his entire rant at "He molests the dead".
This shows just what kind of mud slinging lefties will stoop to. Breslin should put up or shut up. If he really believes Bush is guilty of necrophilia, then he should report that to the police and have him put where Martha Stewart can redecorate his cell. Maybe Jimmy is just accusing the only President we've got of sin? Well, that won't wash either. Consider the list of the Seven Deadly Sins, so memorably depicted in one old movie. Notice that "molesting the dead" is not one of them, nor is waving the badges of dead police officers, much less showing corpses in commercials. (That absurd prohibition would also cripple the arts. You would no longer be able to make things like this sacred keychain. But I'm sure liberals wouldn't care, if they could thereby shut down pious films.)
Wrath, however, is on the list. Clearly Breslin and his accessory at Body and Soul are guilty of this. Now if they find a canon lawyer who's not a good Opus Dei member, he'll no doubt spout disingenuous arguments that Jimmy and Jeanne aren't really guilty. One Catechism says "2303 Deliberate hatred is contrary to charity. Hatred of the neighbor is a sin when one deliberately wishes him evil. Hatred of the neighbor is a grave sin when one deliberately desires him grave harm." Let them deny, if they dare, that they both want Bush defeated in this year's election. For a True Statesman like him, what more grave harm could there be? To continue their hate-filled course, now that I have explained the proper dogma, would mean they will not only injure their own souls. They will also merit, along with all others who defy the Church's teaching, the traditional punishment for heresy.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
FORGET GAY MARRIAGE -- THE CONSORTS ARE COMING!!:
While small minds like Rove and Santorum obsess about the spreading rebellion of silly local governments actually performing gay marriages (which, in Jefferson's words, "neither breaks my leg nor picks my pocket"), they are ignoring the real, ever growing threat of spouses using husbands as stalking horses to seize power for themselves, so that they can enact their Feminist Agenda. (I procured a copy of this, from an infiltrator I'll call "Deep Cigar", for just one day from the last administration. It began "1. Awake, 2. Get botox shot, 3. Do mercy hand relief of hubby, 4. Replace several staffers with female personal loyalists....")
Everyone knows about the always looming danger of the Oval Office In Exile operated by the Rodhamites. That callous carpetbagger is not alone. Like Black Widows, these psychic castraters realize the biological usefulness of not putting all their eggs in one web. More people are catching onto the equally insidious dreams of power by the Ketchup Queen whose whipped puppet has now effectively locked up the Demagogic nomination. But did you realize that her latest stalking horse is not the only male she has enthralled into doing her will?
I've heard several people say thankfully, "At least she can't become President herself, since she was born in Africa." They really believe that fool Orrin Hatch is just trying to help the new Governor of Californicatoria, by trying to amend the Constitution to allow naturalized citizens to seek the White House. I'm sure that's what she told Orrin, and he too was gullible enough to swallow the lie. Her true plan is obvious. Terry plans to be sitting in that office herself someday, speaking French and eating caviar, while she explains the country's first all-female cabinet by saying "It's just so hard to find a qualified man."
This virus of Hillaritus is spreading to other countries as well. "For weeks, Mexico has been abuzz with rumors that Marta Sahagun, Mexico's first lady, might run for president in 2006." She too is setting herself up to replace the drone she installed in their Presidential mansion when his term ends. In a column in Reforma, Denise Dresser writes "Sahagun has gone mad, plain and simple. ... Surrounded by an entourage of sycophants, Sahagun doesn't know how to measure the distance between who she is and who she believes she could be. ... That's the only way to explain why Vicente Fox is encouraging his wife's presidential aspirations instead of nipping them in the bud. She whispers in his ear that there's a conspiracy against both of them, and he believes her."
Yes, that imaginary "Evil Right Wing Cabal" seems to be at work south of the border as well. As the song says, "Into your life it will creep...." Read a translation of the whole column at "The First Lady Is Crazy", a title which would not even have been a news item at all in this country while The Clenis was in office.
Of course, she and the "twa ravens" sabotaging the U.S. had noted examples to work from, also from Latin America. That very confused dictator of Argentina, Juan Peron, who couldn't ever stop playing Hamlet to decide between helping workers or corporations (and paid for it by being removed), was a captive of two such Puppet Mistresses. The first, Eva, tried to become his Vice-President before her death. (She was later prettied up by lefty writers in a musical, which became a movie starring a proven left-winger. A more appropriate "magical realist" tale of what happened to her corpse can be found in the fascinating novel Santa Evita.) His second consort, Isabel, did become his Vice-President in a later term, then President herself after his death. It did not last long before she was kicked out too. The dangerous example set by these two is obviously still inspiring the Hillarys and their ilk, and the rest of the world -- or at least the male minority of the population -- may finally be replaced by real majority rule. Liberals, blindly suppporting "affirmative action", should love it.
While small minds like Rove and Santorum obsess about the spreading rebellion of silly local governments actually performing gay marriages (which, in Jefferson's words, "neither breaks my leg nor picks my pocket"), they are ignoring the real, ever growing threat of spouses using husbands as stalking horses to seize power for themselves, so that they can enact their Feminist Agenda. (I procured a copy of this, from an infiltrator I'll call "Deep Cigar", for just one day from the last administration. It began "1. Awake, 2. Get botox shot, 3. Do mercy hand relief of hubby, 4. Replace several staffers with female personal loyalists....")
Everyone knows about the always looming danger of the Oval Office In Exile operated by the Rodhamites. That callous carpetbagger is not alone. Like Black Widows, these psychic castraters realize the biological usefulness of not putting all their eggs in one web. More people are catching onto the equally insidious dreams of power by the Ketchup Queen whose whipped puppet has now effectively locked up the Demagogic nomination. But did you realize that her latest stalking horse is not the only male she has enthralled into doing her will?
I've heard several people say thankfully, "At least she can't become President herself, since she was born in Africa." They really believe that fool Orrin Hatch is just trying to help the new Governor of Californicatoria, by trying to amend the Constitution to allow naturalized citizens to seek the White House. I'm sure that's what she told Orrin, and he too was gullible enough to swallow the lie. Her true plan is obvious. Terry plans to be sitting in that office herself someday, speaking French and eating caviar, while she explains the country's first all-female cabinet by saying "It's just so hard to find a qualified man."
This virus of Hillaritus is spreading to other countries as well. "For weeks, Mexico has been abuzz with rumors that Marta Sahagun, Mexico's first lady, might run for president in 2006." She too is setting herself up to replace the drone she installed in their Presidential mansion when his term ends. In a column in Reforma, Denise Dresser writes "Sahagun has gone mad, plain and simple. ... Surrounded by an entourage of sycophants, Sahagun doesn't know how to measure the distance between who she is and who she believes she could be. ... That's the only way to explain why Vicente Fox is encouraging his wife's presidential aspirations instead of nipping them in the bud. She whispers in his ear that there's a conspiracy against both of them, and he believes her."
Yes, that imaginary "Evil Right Wing Cabal" seems to be at work south of the border as well. As the song says, "Into your life it will creep...." Read a translation of the whole column at "The First Lady Is Crazy", a title which would not even have been a news item at all in this country while The Clenis was in office.
Of course, she and the "twa ravens" sabotaging the U.S. had noted examples to work from, also from Latin America. That very confused dictator of Argentina, Juan Peron, who couldn't ever stop playing Hamlet to decide between helping workers or corporations (and paid for it by being removed), was a captive of two such Puppet Mistresses. The first, Eva, tried to become his Vice-President before her death. (She was later prettied up by lefty writers in a musical, which became a movie starring a proven left-winger. A more appropriate "magical realist" tale of what happened to her corpse can be found in the fascinating novel Santa Evita.) His second consort, Isabel, did become his Vice-President in a later term, then President herself after his death. It did not last long before she was kicked out too. The dangerous example set by these two is obviously still inspiring the Hillarys and their ilk, and the rest of the world -- or at least the male minority of the population -- may finally be replaced by real majority rule. Liberals, blindly suppporting "affirmative action", should love it.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
"THE TRICKS? YOU CAN'T STAND THE TRICKS!!":
No doubt this was one of the proposed anti-Bush ads that Move-On decided not to accept for their contest, perhaps because it doesn't say anything about Hitler or Nazis. I'll only point out the philosophical flaw when this says Our Noble Leader has "the total combined intelligence of a wet sock and a mud brick". That is mixing apples and oranges, since it is no more possible to combine the minds of such different substances than it is to have a "marriage" between two people of the same gender. Don't try this at work, but if you want to see how juvenile liberals' sense of humor is, turn on your computer's sound and visit THIS SITE.
Liberals are such milquetoast amateurs when it comes to political dirty tricks. They think they make points just by mocking their betters, when all that does is overcome their own people with laughter so that they miss the mastodon sneaking into the capitol. A great example just appeared in Our Leader's home state of Texas. In Tarrant County (Fort Worth), the only contest for Judge in next week's Republican Primary pits black incumbent Wayne Salvant against a white challenger, Mike Deegan, who has just sent a postcard to Republican voters there. It features pictures of both, with the words "Tarrant County Voters -- ELECT a Judge that reflects your values", which are placed directly over the black Judge's picture.
Now here's where the silly liberals show their futile approach to dirty tricks. One obviously left-wing reporter, always trying to find the KKK under every rock, decided to mock Deegan in his column for making a racist appeal, which Deegan of course denies. Foolishly he interviewed that challenger, hoping to hang him with his own words. All that did was allow the candidate to explain the truth to the world.
"Deegan pointed to one of Salvant's mailings and claimed that it tries "to make people think that you're white when you're not." The Salvant mailing contains a quote supporting him from Tarrant County Sheriff Dee Anderson. Anderson's photograph appears beside Anderson's quote. Deegan said voters might believe that Salvant is actually Anderson, who is white. Deegan said, "You could easily believe that was him. Why doesn't he put his own picture in there? I don't know." Many voters, Deegan added, are not informed enough to recognize that the photograph is of Anderson and not of Salvant." (You can read that whole column at "Candidate's mailing raises questions".)
Well, I'm certainly convinced by his explanation. Just like that profane web ad shows, liberals just don't know how to really use humor against their political foes. You've got to be nasty, as Karl will be demonstrating soon against John Heinz-Kerry.
No doubt this was one of the proposed anti-Bush ads that Move-On decided not to accept for their contest, perhaps because it doesn't say anything about Hitler or Nazis. I'll only point out the philosophical flaw when this says Our Noble Leader has "the total combined intelligence of a wet sock and a mud brick". That is mixing apples and oranges, since it is no more possible to combine the minds of such different substances than it is to have a "marriage" between two people of the same gender. Don't try this at work, but if you want to see how juvenile liberals' sense of humor is, turn on your computer's sound and visit THIS SITE.
Liberals are such milquetoast amateurs when it comes to political dirty tricks. They think they make points just by mocking their betters, when all that does is overcome their own people with laughter so that they miss the mastodon sneaking into the capitol. A great example just appeared in Our Leader's home state of Texas. In Tarrant County (Fort Worth), the only contest for Judge in next week's Republican Primary pits black incumbent Wayne Salvant against a white challenger, Mike Deegan, who has just sent a postcard to Republican voters there. It features pictures of both, with the words "Tarrant County Voters -- ELECT a Judge that reflects your values", which are placed directly over the black Judge's picture.
Now here's where the silly liberals show their futile approach to dirty tricks. One obviously left-wing reporter, always trying to find the KKK under every rock, decided to mock Deegan in his column for making a racist appeal, which Deegan of course denies. Foolishly he interviewed that challenger, hoping to hang him with his own words. All that did was allow the candidate to explain the truth to the world.
"Deegan pointed to one of Salvant's mailings and claimed that it tries "to make people think that you're white when you're not." The Salvant mailing contains a quote supporting him from Tarrant County Sheriff Dee Anderson. Anderson's photograph appears beside Anderson's quote. Deegan said voters might believe that Salvant is actually Anderson, who is white. Deegan said, "You could easily believe that was him. Why doesn't he put his own picture in there? I don't know." Many voters, Deegan added, are not informed enough to recognize that the photograph is of Anderson and not of Salvant." (You can read that whole column at "Candidate's mailing raises questions".)
Well, I'm certainly convinced by his explanation. Just like that profane web ad shows, liberals just don't know how to really use humor against their political foes. You've got to be nasty, as Karl will be demonstrating soon against John Heinz-Kerry.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
REPLACING CHENEY:
Dear Mr. President:
Here is the result of the emergency search for a new Vice-Presidential candidate, which I have been happy to conduct on your behalf. As General Ashcroft will confirm, this new choice was made necessary by what happened Friday at the Martha Stewart trial. Considering how this process worked four years ago, the selection I made was predictable.
This really started with a lack of guts in the man planning your campaign. Forgetting all about our master plan for THIS YEAR'S ULTIMATE OCTOBER SURPRISE, Karl got so spooked by the Ketchup Consort's war record that he wrote off the independent voters. He decided to stir up the base vote instead, by having you support the amendment to ban gay marriage. Its opponents began A MAJOR EFFORT, with its own WEB SITE, to get Cheney's lesbian daughter Mary to oppose the amendment. She was too loyal for that, but someone else did see an opportunity there.
Dick's genes did run true after all. Mary was unable to refuse a secret proposal of marriage, just as soon as Massachusetts begins legal same sex weddings this spring, from a person with even more money than her father. What Mary would get is obvious. Her would be spouse only wanted one thing in exchange, a small favor from the father of the other bride. Alarm bells went off when he left the NAVAL OBSERVATORY for New York, and took a quiet trip to hunt peasants (no, sir, that's not a typo), with Judge Miriam Goldman Cedarbaum. Friday the court sent the signal Martha was waiting for by DROPPING THE MOST SERIOUS CHARGE against her, which means she may avoid any prison time. She has already begun making TISSUE POUCHES FOR THE GUESTS. This also ruins our plans to deflect attacks on Republican corporate criminals by railroading that contributor to Democrats into prison.
Dick could get away with SHOOTING SITTING DUCKS WITH SCALIA to preserve secrets about his energy policy meetings. The media moguls understand that was just business. The fallout will be just too intense with your target voters when they hear that he did the same thing to help his daughter find wedded bliss. They won't see this as an example of their kind of Family Values, but as those of ROSIE O'DONNELL. His overreaching means your loyal Number Two has to be dumped, and fast.
I checked out the usual media hyped contenders, and found problems everywhere. The main one was insufficiently aggressive anti-choice views, which would depress turnout by your most fanatical supporters. Colin, Condie, and Rudy were all excluded by this. Although the first two credibly indicated that they were willing to lie for their party, they both suffer from another obvious problem with the part of our coalition which Trent still represents. Although willing and correctly reactionary, Frist The Cat is needed in Congress, along with Bugsy Delay, to push through Dick's replacement after his sudden completely unexpected heart attack, which is now scheduled for March 9, just in time to distract attention from Kerry's winning enough delegates to clinch the Democratic nomination.
I am sorry to report that once again Karl showed a lack of ruthlessness here. He thought a phony emergency appendectomy would be enough, since it seemed to have worked for the SECRETARY OF STATE OF TEXAS in diverting attention from the evil rumors about him and GOVERNOR PERRYMANDER. Knowing that the national media are less sycophantic than those in your home state, I insisted on the old KGB approach of cyanide on a staircase, because the Veep just knows too much. Naturally, my view prevailed. Mary's papa will be safely on ice with TED WILLIAMS when her ceremony takes place.
His successor must be someone who will completely distract attention from his manipulations. You need to follow that good advice "HOW CAN THEY SEE WITH SEQUINS IN THEIR EYES?" The ideal contender, following your father's strategy with Clarence Thomas, would be a woman who is vehemently anti-choice, as well as anti-gay marriage, and pro-Gulf War II. In other words, replace your eminence grise with what those Freedom speaking people would call an eminence blondasse. The media would gush all over themselves at our first female Vice-President. Having a candidate who actually is articulate enough to pronounce words like "nuclear" on the campaign trail will also help, especially when she is really great at throwing raw meat to the wolves of the far right. You get a bonus if Kerry picks Edwards for his Veep, by having as his opponent someone who could practice law, but has chosen not to, out of public spirited disgust at plaintiff's attorneys.
In short, after an extensive search like your unknowing lame duck conducted in 2000, I conclude that the best possible choice for Vice-President is none other than myself. While The Company earns back your broken trust by taking care of necessary details over the next two weeks, I'll be refurbishing my old family homestead with a log exterior, just to make for good visuals when the announcement is made. I look forward to an exciting campaign and a productive four and one half years in your administration.
Dear Mr. President:
Here is the result of the emergency search for a new Vice-Presidential candidate, which I have been happy to conduct on your behalf. As General Ashcroft will confirm, this new choice was made necessary by what happened Friday at the Martha Stewart trial. Considering how this process worked four years ago, the selection I made was predictable.
This really started with a lack of guts in the man planning your campaign. Forgetting all about our master plan for THIS YEAR'S ULTIMATE OCTOBER SURPRISE, Karl got so spooked by the Ketchup Consort's war record that he wrote off the independent voters. He decided to stir up the base vote instead, by having you support the amendment to ban gay marriage. Its opponents began A MAJOR EFFORT, with its own WEB SITE, to get Cheney's lesbian daughter Mary to oppose the amendment. She was too loyal for that, but someone else did see an opportunity there.
Dick's genes did run true after all. Mary was unable to refuse a secret proposal of marriage, just as soon as Massachusetts begins legal same sex weddings this spring, from a person with even more money than her father. What Mary would get is obvious. Her would be spouse only wanted one thing in exchange, a small favor from the father of the other bride. Alarm bells went off when he left the NAVAL OBSERVATORY for New York, and took a quiet trip to hunt peasants (no, sir, that's not a typo), with Judge Miriam Goldman Cedarbaum. Friday the court sent the signal Martha was waiting for by DROPPING THE MOST SERIOUS CHARGE against her, which means she may avoid any prison time. She has already begun making TISSUE POUCHES FOR THE GUESTS. This also ruins our plans to deflect attacks on Republican corporate criminals by railroading that contributor to Democrats into prison.
Dick could get away with SHOOTING SITTING DUCKS WITH SCALIA to preserve secrets about his energy policy meetings. The media moguls understand that was just business. The fallout will be just too intense with your target voters when they hear that he did the same thing to help his daughter find wedded bliss. They won't see this as an example of their kind of Family Values, but as those of ROSIE O'DONNELL. His overreaching means your loyal Number Two has to be dumped, and fast.
I checked out the usual media hyped contenders, and found problems everywhere. The main one was insufficiently aggressive anti-choice views, which would depress turnout by your most fanatical supporters. Colin, Condie, and Rudy were all excluded by this. Although the first two credibly indicated that they were willing to lie for their party, they both suffer from another obvious problem with the part of our coalition which Trent still represents. Although willing and correctly reactionary, Frist The Cat is needed in Congress, along with Bugsy Delay, to push through Dick's replacement after his sudden completely unexpected heart attack, which is now scheduled for March 9, just in time to distract attention from Kerry's winning enough delegates to clinch the Democratic nomination.
I am sorry to report that once again Karl showed a lack of ruthlessness here. He thought a phony emergency appendectomy would be enough, since it seemed to have worked for the SECRETARY OF STATE OF TEXAS in diverting attention from the evil rumors about him and GOVERNOR PERRYMANDER. Knowing that the national media are less sycophantic than those in your home state, I insisted on the old KGB approach of cyanide on a staircase, because the Veep just knows too much. Naturally, my view prevailed. Mary's papa will be safely on ice with TED WILLIAMS when her ceremony takes place.
His successor must be someone who will completely distract attention from his manipulations. You need to follow that good advice "HOW CAN THEY SEE WITH SEQUINS IN THEIR EYES?" The ideal contender, following your father's strategy with Clarence Thomas, would be a woman who is vehemently anti-choice, as well as anti-gay marriage, and pro-Gulf War II. In other words, replace your eminence grise with what those Freedom speaking people would call an eminence blondasse. The media would gush all over themselves at our first female Vice-President. Having a candidate who actually is articulate enough to pronounce words like "nuclear" on the campaign trail will also help, especially when she is really great at throwing raw meat to the wolves of the far right. You get a bonus if Kerry picks Edwards for his Veep, by having as his opponent someone who could practice law, but has chosen not to, out of public spirited disgust at plaintiff's attorneys.
In short, after an extensive search like your unknowing lame duck conducted in 2000, I conclude that the best possible choice for Vice-President is none other than myself. While The Company earns back your broken trust by taking care of necessary details over the next two weeks, I'll be refurbishing my old family homestead with a log exterior, just to make for good visuals when the announcement is made. I look forward to an exciting campaign and a productive four and one half years in your administration.
Friday, February 27, 2004
FOLLOW THE MONEY:
Once again, the advice of "Deep Throat" during Watergate merits attention. Why the sudden flood of advocacy for gay marriage? The surprising answer is buried in "An Unusual Love Story". The writer is talking about those two perverse gay penguins at the Central Park Zoo, who mated, built a nest, and hatched an egg given them by the zookeepers. But way down the page he says this: "(As an aside, isn't S.F. mayor Gavin Newsom a genius? By allowing gays to marry, not only is he sending a powerful civil rights message, but every one of those gay couples had to buy a marriage license. At $83 a pop, Newsom has added almost $400,000 to the strapped civic treasury—money that certainly won't be refunded when President Bush amends the Constitution to do something no reasonable compassionate conservative would ever do: Make it less protective of individual freedom and personal liberty rather than more)."
That clears it up totally. Local and state governments, strapped for cash because of declining revenues, don't have the guts to raise taxes or to cut those bleeding heart giveaways to the poor, so they are jumping on this bandwagon of a whole new source of revenue -- sell gay marriage licenses. Soon they'll start selling other absurd things, like hunting licenses to pacifists and butcher's licenses to vegetarians. Anything to fill their treasuries so they can spend more on liberal nonsense. Where will it end?
Once again, the advice of "Deep Throat" during Watergate merits attention. Why the sudden flood of advocacy for gay marriage? The surprising answer is buried in "An Unusual Love Story". The writer is talking about those two perverse gay penguins at the Central Park Zoo, who mated, built a nest, and hatched an egg given them by the zookeepers. But way down the page he says this: "(As an aside, isn't S.F. mayor Gavin Newsom a genius? By allowing gays to marry, not only is he sending a powerful civil rights message, but every one of those gay couples had to buy a marriage license. At $83 a pop, Newsom has added almost $400,000 to the strapped civic treasury—money that certainly won't be refunded when President Bush amends the Constitution to do something no reasonable compassionate conservative would ever do: Make it less protective of individual freedom and personal liberty rather than more)."
That clears it up totally. Local and state governments, strapped for cash because of declining revenues, don't have the guts to raise taxes or to cut those bleeding heart giveaways to the poor, so they are jumping on this bandwagon of a whole new source of revenue -- sell gay marriage licenses. Soon they'll start selling other absurd things, like hunting licenses to pacifists and butcher's licenses to vegetarians. Anything to fill their treasuries so they can spend more on liberal nonsense. Where will it end?
Thursday, February 26, 2004
KARMA FOR BABY BEARS:
This should be a valuable lesson for all those "new age" liberals into various forms of multihued magic and feminazi satanism, instead of following the Crusading Christian tradition of our colonial Founders. Those separatists left England because the British crown, busily beheading Papists, wouldn't let them treat their own dissenters the same way. Gleefully the settlers cleared the wilderness, slaughtering land-hoarding Indians, obnoxious Quaker missionaries, and especially witches. The country just hasn't been the same since some stupid liberal judges started insisting on evidence of guilt before executions.
The virus of belief in mystical nonsense continues to infect our society, as shown by the number of people who think astrology actually works, and the much smaller number who actually believe what they read in the N.Y. Times. But God will not be mocked. These silly heretics do get punished as they deserve. One of the groups now suffering their just desserts consists of the idiotic fans of the Chicago Cubs baseball team. Good conservatives prefer the clean, rational, suburban, white bread and mayonnaise, traditional middle class family values of the American League White Sox, instead of the dirty, mystical, inner city, beer guzzling and hot dog scarfing, working class, mixed populist ethnic potpourri of the National League's Cubs. And, as proof of divine intervention to secure justice on earth, so does the Deity.
The greatest sin of the Cubs fans, other than just not being the sort of folks one would invite over for white wine and Brie, is their belief that they have not won a series since 1908 because of a curse on the team. Now I won't deny that God does still hold a grudge against the Red Sox for selling the greatest natural baseball star of all time to The Plutocrats Formerly Known As The Highlanders. But that's over in His own favorite League. He seldom bothers about the Nationals at all. In fact, the last time he took a personal interest there was to help the Cubs, but they've always been foolish enough to believe they won their last World Series through their own efforts.
From 1906 through 1910 the Cubs were the greatest team in baseball, perhaps even of all time. Look up the stats yourself. They won the National pennant four of the five years, and became the first team ever to win back-to-back World Series. Why? No, it wasn't just the legendary infield of "Tinker to Evers to Chance" (or their unrhymed and largely ignored third baseman Steinfeldt, who was an even better player). It was divine help, because God was still angry at those Southern Democratic traitors who had tried to split apart His chosen instrument to impose His will on earth, the United States of America. Observe how a vengeful Supreme Being did not allow any major league team to locate in the old Confederacy until the walls of segregation began to fall, thus beginning the conversion of ignorant Southern white Democrats into upstanding Republicans.
Why build up the Cubs? Because of the first real threat to His plan. One player emerged who was so supremely talented that he could have won the Series almost by himself, and who would thereby let the South claim a Series by proxy, at least. God intervened to make the Cubs an almost unstoppable force just to keep a Series ring away from that Devil's disciple, Ty Cobb of the Detroit Tigers. The evil ways of the Georgia Peach are too well known to repeat, among them his legendary racism and violence, unholy defects he shared with his other Southern Democratic peers.
God knew Ty was coming, so He sent the Cubs to the Series in 1906 just for practice. When Cobb's Tigers got there in 1907, Chicago shut them out totally. The next year the same two teams faced off again, and this time the Deity cruelly teased the Southern star's team by letting them win a single game. The only reason He didn't bother stacking the deck again in 1909 was because the Nationals had produced their own natural superstar in Honus Wagner of the Pirates. He was good enough to beat the Tigers in Cobb's third Series appearance without help from above. That was enough. Ty's prime years were behind him, and his teams never won a pennant again. The Republican victory in the Civil War was symbolically upheld. The great Cubs team God put together actually came back to win another pennant in 1910, but without divine assistance predictably lost to the first of Connie Mack's legendary assemblages from Philadelphia.
The ignorant fans of the Chicago National League team, lost in pagan superstition, have chosen to blame their never winning another Series on pronouncements of witches. "According to a Cubs legend, a fan with a pet billy goat who was turned away from the stadium in 1945 laid a curse on the team." Wrong. Rather it is the ungrateful egotism that gave no thanks to God for using them to carry forth His divine Plan, and the heretical mysticism that implies earthly necromancers could overcome His will. Vengeance is His, and it will continue until those blue collar Democrats at Wrigley Field repent and mend their leftist ways.
It will do them no good to make a scapegoat of the latest inanimate symbol of their belief in demonic fates. It says in "Fan to 'blow away' curse of Cubs", "Grant DePorter bought the ball many fans believe cost the Cubs the World Series last year. Mr DePorter, a partner in a restaurant business, paid $113,824 for the ball in order to have it blown up on live TV. He has hired a special effects expert to make sure the offending item meets its end in the most dramatic fashion. ... They were within touching distance of making the Series last year, 3-1 up in the seven-match sequence against the Florida Marlins, when an over-zealous fan knocked the ball from the hands of a Cubs fielder as he was about to catch it. ... Perhaps because he cannot blow up the fan, Mr DePorter has decided to take vengeance on the ball." No, this won't help. Come back to Jesus and voting for the Republican Party, and maybe something can be arranged. Until then, your mystical hubris will continue to be punished with deserved failure.
This should be a valuable lesson for all those "new age" liberals into various forms of multihued magic and feminazi satanism, instead of following the Crusading Christian tradition of our colonial Founders. Those separatists left England because the British crown, busily beheading Papists, wouldn't let them treat their own dissenters the same way. Gleefully the settlers cleared the wilderness, slaughtering land-hoarding Indians, obnoxious Quaker missionaries, and especially witches. The country just hasn't been the same since some stupid liberal judges started insisting on evidence of guilt before executions.
The virus of belief in mystical nonsense continues to infect our society, as shown by the number of people who think astrology actually works, and the much smaller number who actually believe what they read in the N.Y. Times. But God will not be mocked. These silly heretics do get punished as they deserve. One of the groups now suffering their just desserts consists of the idiotic fans of the Chicago Cubs baseball team. Good conservatives prefer the clean, rational, suburban, white bread and mayonnaise, traditional middle class family values of the American League White Sox, instead of the dirty, mystical, inner city, beer guzzling and hot dog scarfing, working class, mixed populist ethnic potpourri of the National League's Cubs. And, as proof of divine intervention to secure justice on earth, so does the Deity.
The greatest sin of the Cubs fans, other than just not being the sort of folks one would invite over for white wine and Brie, is their belief that they have not won a series since 1908 because of a curse on the team. Now I won't deny that God does still hold a grudge against the Red Sox for selling the greatest natural baseball star of all time to The Plutocrats Formerly Known As The Highlanders. But that's over in His own favorite League. He seldom bothers about the Nationals at all. In fact, the last time he took a personal interest there was to help the Cubs, but they've always been foolish enough to believe they won their last World Series through their own efforts.
From 1906 through 1910 the Cubs were the greatest team in baseball, perhaps even of all time. Look up the stats yourself. They won the National pennant four of the five years, and became the first team ever to win back-to-back World Series. Why? No, it wasn't just the legendary infield of "Tinker to Evers to Chance" (or their unrhymed and largely ignored third baseman Steinfeldt, who was an even better player). It was divine help, because God was still angry at those Southern Democratic traitors who had tried to split apart His chosen instrument to impose His will on earth, the United States of America. Observe how a vengeful Supreme Being did not allow any major league team to locate in the old Confederacy until the walls of segregation began to fall, thus beginning the conversion of ignorant Southern white Democrats into upstanding Republicans.
Why build up the Cubs? Because of the first real threat to His plan. One player emerged who was so supremely talented that he could have won the Series almost by himself, and who would thereby let the South claim a Series by proxy, at least. God intervened to make the Cubs an almost unstoppable force just to keep a Series ring away from that Devil's disciple, Ty Cobb of the Detroit Tigers. The evil ways of the Georgia Peach are too well known to repeat, among them his legendary racism and violence, unholy defects he shared with his other Southern Democratic peers.
God knew Ty was coming, so He sent the Cubs to the Series in 1906 just for practice. When Cobb's Tigers got there in 1907, Chicago shut them out totally. The next year the same two teams faced off again, and this time the Deity cruelly teased the Southern star's team by letting them win a single game. The only reason He didn't bother stacking the deck again in 1909 was because the Nationals had produced their own natural superstar in Honus Wagner of the Pirates. He was good enough to beat the Tigers in Cobb's third Series appearance without help from above. That was enough. Ty's prime years were behind him, and his teams never won a pennant again. The Republican victory in the Civil War was symbolically upheld. The great Cubs team God put together actually came back to win another pennant in 1910, but without divine assistance predictably lost to the first of Connie Mack's legendary assemblages from Philadelphia.
The ignorant fans of the Chicago National League team, lost in pagan superstition, have chosen to blame their never winning another Series on pronouncements of witches. "According to a Cubs legend, a fan with a pet billy goat who was turned away from the stadium in 1945 laid a curse on the team." Wrong. Rather it is the ungrateful egotism that gave no thanks to God for using them to carry forth His divine Plan, and the heretical mysticism that implies earthly necromancers could overcome His will. Vengeance is His, and it will continue until those blue collar Democrats at Wrigley Field repent and mend their leftist ways.
It will do them no good to make a scapegoat of the latest inanimate symbol of their belief in demonic fates. It says in "Fan to 'blow away' curse of Cubs", "Grant DePorter bought the ball many fans believe cost the Cubs the World Series last year. Mr DePorter, a partner in a restaurant business, paid $113,824 for the ball in order to have it blown up on live TV. He has hired a special effects expert to make sure the offending item meets its end in the most dramatic fashion. ... They were within touching distance of making the Series last year, 3-1 up in the seven-match sequence against the Florida Marlins, when an over-zealous fan knocked the ball from the hands of a Cubs fielder as he was about to catch it. ... Perhaps because he cannot blow up the fan, Mr DePorter has decided to take vengeance on the ball." No, this won't help. Come back to Jesus and voting for the Republican Party, and maybe something can be arranged. Until then, your mystical hubris will continue to be punished with deserved failure.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
GIVING MY ALL:
Our Noble Leader in the White House will now support an amendment to ban gay marriages, according to a report on the vile Liberal Coalition web site by Charles2 of The Fulcrum. Good conservatives should not be cheering at this as an end to the threatened Dutchification of America. It really just means that Karl Rove has lost his nerve.
Yes, Bush's support for this means Karl has finally gotten over his bleeding-heart obsession with not offending the "soccer mom" vote by appearing "intolerant". That was always an example of short-sightedness on his part anyway. Soccer is clearly a plot by foreigners to subvert basic American sports values. "And now abideth baseball, basketball, football, these three; but the greatest of these is baseball." (NASCAR is a profession, not a sport.) But I digress....
I blame John Heinz-Kerry for this. The alleged "war hero" status of the Ketchup Consort (TM) has spooked 'ol Karl. Rove figures battle wounds trump flight suits with the independents, so he's decided to write those voters off. His new strategy is to win by throwing all the raw meat he can to the theocratic wolves, getting the "base" votes to turn out in unprecedented swarms.
The Rovinator has given up too easily. I'm still trying to dig up a witness who will swear either 1) that Heinz-Kerry got shot only when he dropped his own rifle and it went off three times, or 2) that Heinz-Kerry never really served in Vietnam at all, but imitated the method of his Senate colleague from Massachusetts for passing a French exam at Harvard, and paid a substitute to go in his place.
No sacrifice is too great to procure such evidence. Following the precedent of Marie Antoinette in Start The Revolution Without Me, I would even be willing to offer up my own fair young svelte form in the cause, by personally rewarding the hero who will testify to one of these tales.
I fully expect the prospect of such a tempting prize will cause many veterans to carefully search their memories to see if they can't recall the needed information. Repeated treatments with such "recovered memory therapy" may be needed to get all the details. The scandalous results won't be released until after the foolish Democrats walk into our trap by nominating this sitting duck in his home town this summer, but Heinz-Kerry is already a political dead man walking.
Our Noble Leader in the White House will now support an amendment to ban gay marriages, according to a report on the vile Liberal Coalition web site by Charles2 of The Fulcrum. Good conservatives should not be cheering at this as an end to the threatened Dutchification of America. It really just means that Karl Rove has lost his nerve.
Yes, Bush's support for this means Karl has finally gotten over his bleeding-heart obsession with not offending the "soccer mom" vote by appearing "intolerant". That was always an example of short-sightedness on his part anyway. Soccer is clearly a plot by foreigners to subvert basic American sports values. "And now abideth baseball, basketball, football, these three; but the greatest of these is baseball." (NASCAR is a profession, not a sport.) But I digress....
I blame John Heinz-Kerry for this. The alleged "war hero" status of the Ketchup Consort (TM) has spooked 'ol Karl. Rove figures battle wounds trump flight suits with the independents, so he's decided to write those voters off. His new strategy is to win by throwing all the raw meat he can to the theocratic wolves, getting the "base" votes to turn out in unprecedented swarms.
The Rovinator has given up too easily. I'm still trying to dig up a witness who will swear either 1) that Heinz-Kerry got shot only when he dropped his own rifle and it went off three times, or 2) that Heinz-Kerry never really served in Vietnam at all, but imitated the method of his Senate colleague from Massachusetts for passing a French exam at Harvard, and paid a substitute to go in his place.
No sacrifice is too great to procure such evidence. Following the precedent of Marie Antoinette in Start The Revolution Without Me, I would even be willing to offer up my own fair young svelte form in the cause, by personally rewarding the hero who will testify to one of these tales.
I fully expect the prospect of such a tempting prize will cause many veterans to carefully search their memories to see if they can't recall the needed information. Repeated treatments with such "recovered memory therapy" may be needed to get all the details. The scandalous results won't be released until after the foolish Democrats walk into our trap by nominating this sitting duck in his home town this summer, but Heinz-Kerry is already a political dead man walking.
Sunday, February 22, 2004
EXPULSEZ L'INFAME:
Liberals are gushing all over themselves about the unfolding of the newest reality show, Queer Eye For the Straight Country. This makeover is well under way. The U.S. Extreme Court says sodomy can no longer be restricted to sheepherders, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court insists that the term marriage is a fighting word, and Saint Francis of Assisi is turning over in his grave about the ceremonies enacted by the city which is taking his name in vain. (Or did the founders of that city of Haight know something we didn't about that animal lover?)
Another term for George should suffice to stack the federal bench, and I think Diebold has that well under control, but the Bostcisco subversives will still be pushing their poisonous ideas. One lefty, StoutDemBlog, tried to mock the Good Guys of this Cultural War in "The Newest Member of the Axis of Evil", suggesting that the Great Recaller of Sacramento might actually use National Guard troops to invade San Francisco and restore order, after the Governor's speech emulating the Bush administration's denunciations of "imminent" risk there. What mealy mouthed moderation.
What we need to do, and quickly, before the November election, is to Expel Massachusetts and San Francisco from the Union. I don't mean from AFSCME, I mean from the United States itself. If the liberals want to impose a compulsory makeover on the country, then why can't we? Consider the advantages. Not only will we eliminate two cesspools of radicalism, but we will also change the national political equation. John Kerry wouldn't even be eligible to run for President. Thenceforward Republicans would always win the Presidential elections, with the votes of Kerry's state gone and those of California, now stripped of its corrupting hotbed of leftists, safely back in the GOP camp.
No doubt some will accuse us of hypocrisy, since Republicans won a Civil War on the proposition that no one could secede from the Union. That misunderstands the precedent. Grant's drafted armies only proved that no one can leave by their own choice. It said nothing about whether the rest of us could kick out a state or city.
Any objection that this would require a two-thirds vote can be met with the countercharge that the Democrats themselves established the principle of letting a mere majority vote determine statehood in 1845. Faced with the certain failure to obtain a two-thirds vote to ratify the treaty admitting Texas to the Union, they simply passed a regular bill in Congress. If the Democrats could do this then to help their party, the Republicans (now in control of Texas as well) can reverse this process now by the same vote.
And why stop there? This could also be done to Manhattan, Berkeley, Ann Arbor, Austin, and other similar infestations of liberal ideas. Naturally, these isolated radical bastions would not be capable of defending themselves from the evils of a hostile world. It would be an act of purest kindness for us to protect these childish commune-ities from the enemies they refuse to believe in, by treating them as protectorates, much as we do Puerto Rico today. Face it, Bin Laden on his best day can't do as much harm to America as those magnifiers of The State as opposed to The Corporations. Kick them out, not in hatred, but in sadness, then treat them not as a Big Brother (some hack English novelist seems to have poisoned that term), but as a Big Uncle (TM). It'll be a better world for everyone who matters.
Liberals are gushing all over themselves about the unfolding of the newest reality show, Queer Eye For the Straight Country. This makeover is well under way. The U.S. Extreme Court says sodomy can no longer be restricted to sheepherders, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court insists that the term marriage is a fighting word, and Saint Francis of Assisi is turning over in his grave about the ceremonies enacted by the city which is taking his name in vain. (Or did the founders of that city of Haight know something we didn't about that animal lover?)
Another term for George should suffice to stack the federal bench, and I think Diebold has that well under control, but the Bostcisco subversives will still be pushing their poisonous ideas. One lefty, StoutDemBlog, tried to mock the Good Guys of this Cultural War in "The Newest Member of the Axis of Evil", suggesting that the Great Recaller of Sacramento might actually use National Guard troops to invade San Francisco and restore order, after the Governor's speech emulating the Bush administration's denunciations of "imminent" risk there. What mealy mouthed moderation.
What we need to do, and quickly, before the November election, is to Expel Massachusetts and San Francisco from the Union. I don't mean from AFSCME, I mean from the United States itself. If the liberals want to impose a compulsory makeover on the country, then why can't we? Consider the advantages. Not only will we eliminate two cesspools of radicalism, but we will also change the national political equation. John Kerry wouldn't even be eligible to run for President. Thenceforward Republicans would always win the Presidential elections, with the votes of Kerry's state gone and those of California, now stripped of its corrupting hotbed of leftists, safely back in the GOP camp.
No doubt some will accuse us of hypocrisy, since Republicans won a Civil War on the proposition that no one could secede from the Union. That misunderstands the precedent. Grant's drafted armies only proved that no one can leave by their own choice. It said nothing about whether the rest of us could kick out a state or city.
Any objection that this would require a two-thirds vote can be met with the countercharge that the Democrats themselves established the principle of letting a mere majority vote determine statehood in 1845. Faced with the certain failure to obtain a two-thirds vote to ratify the treaty admitting Texas to the Union, they simply passed a regular bill in Congress. If the Democrats could do this then to help their party, the Republicans (now in control of Texas as well) can reverse this process now by the same vote.
And why stop there? This could also be done to Manhattan, Berkeley, Ann Arbor, Austin, and other similar infestations of liberal ideas. Naturally, these isolated radical bastions would not be capable of defending themselves from the evils of a hostile world. It would be an act of purest kindness for us to protect these childish commune-ities from the enemies they refuse to believe in, by treating them as protectorates, much as we do Puerto Rico today. Face it, Bin Laden on his best day can't do as much harm to America as those magnifiers of The State as opposed to The Corporations. Kick them out, not in hatred, but in sadness, then treat them not as a Big Brother (some hack English novelist seems to have poisoned that term), but as a Big Uncle (TM). It'll be a better world for everyone who matters.
