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Friday, August 05, 2005

THE LAST TEMPTATION OF HOWARD:

(With apologies to Joni Mitchell.)

The way they count it, he spun,
We just can't win it....
Candidates are focussed on their own race:
We can't poll watch all.
When every loser dons a tin-foil hat,
I sympathize,
But -- don't call for recounts.
That would just remind folks of my screaming time.
Though I hate the G.O.P.,
As Chair I hew the responsible line.

I was a free man in Vermont.
There all our ballot counts were clean.
We did not fear Republican votes were stolen,
And even they were pretty green.
I would go back to making house calls,
But someone has to clean the grime
Clogging our political system
From those theocratic slime.

I console bloggers,
And dead horse floggers.
Someday I must ask just what is the point.
What I'd love to do
Is go home from this joint
And watch as
The leaves turn scarlet
Just making an honest living,
Praised when I help to cure an ill,
And never denounced as shrill.

I was a free man in Vermont.
There all our ballot counts were clean.
We did not fear Republican votes were stolen,
And even they were pretty green.
I would go back to making house calls,
But someone has to clean the grime
Clogging our political system
From those theocratic slime.

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