<$BlogRSDUrl$>

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

EVERYBODY PILE ON:
A sudden hush fell on the crowd as Mr. Summers cleared his throat and looked at the list. "All ready?" he called. "Now, I'll read the names -- heads of families first -- and the men come up and take a paper out of the box. Keep the paper folded in your hand without looking at it until everyone has had a turn. Everything clear?" ...
A growing number of righteous blogs are turning on their master and pointedly de-linking from the Blogfather himself, the Instapundit, because he proved to be downright mushy about those Activists of Evil at the "ay-cee-ell-you" in this recent post. They've even begun an “I’m Not Linked To Glenn Reynolds List" for those joining their boycott, which seems to be very inclusive, since "If you have never linked to Glenn for whatever reason, we will add you to the list as well." How could one pass up such a chance to help expose the feet of clay of the mighty? Count me in, because Insty is even worse than they think.
Although the villagers had forgotten the ritual and lost the original black box, they still remembered to use stones. The pile of stones the boys had made earlier was ready; there were stones on the ground with the blowing scraps of paper that had come out of the box. Mrs. Delacroix selected a stone so large she had to pick it up with both hands and turned to Mrs. Dunbar. "Come on," she said. "Hurry up." ...
Notice that in his post about those litigious enablers of depravity, he says he has worked with them in the past, and offers an article he wrote supporting their opposition to new federal laws against rave paraphernalia (an innovative idea heavily backed by possible Democratic Presidential sacrifice fly Joe Biden). Therein Glenn says:
Will the drug war serve as a model for the war on terrorism? Some within the federal bureaucracy seem to think it should, and it's easy to understand why: The drug war may have been a disaster for America, but it has been a three-decade gravy train for bureaucrats. ...
Not being a bureaucrat, I think the drug war is a terrible model.
There you have it; the (perhaps soon formerly) most-linked blogger on the "right" is objectively pro-terrorist. Remember, when glow sticks are outlawed, our best inquisitors will have to intimidate captured prisoners by finding some new tool which they can threaten to convert into suppositories. Never link to Insty again, I say!
Tessie Hutchinson was in the center of a cleared space by now, and she held her hands out desperately as the villagers moved in on her. "It isn't fair," she said. A stone hit her on the side of the head. ...
"It isn't fair, it isn't right," Mrs. Hutchinson screamed, and then they were upon her.

--Shirley Jackson, "The Lottery", 1948

SING YOUR OWN SPECIAL SONG:

It's the usual liberal double standard. Various usual suspects, such as The News Blog and Agitprop, are accusing Our Noble Lame Duck of being an "American Nero", who "casually strummed a guitar yesterday while the Gulf Coast states continued to drown." They are illustrating it with this picture:


Well, if they think he's such a lousy administrator and messed up every business he ever ran, then why aren't they counting their blessings that he is leaving the real hard work to the experts who know how? Frankly, I'm always glad when our government goes on vacation because I remember what idle hands mean. As for the complaint about the mythical Roman emperor's fiddling while Rome burned (though the violin was not invented for centuries to come), I refer you to this man using a genuine fiddle, while his fellow lodge members burned crosses on lawns:


Tuesday, August 16, 2005

J. EDGAR WAS MY HEROINE:

Still the liberals insist on ad feminem attacks on Our Noble Lame Duck. The constant meme they promote of His preferential distortion by those northeastern prep schools contradicts their insistence elsewhere that those Otherwise Inclined are helpless victims of genetic programming, which itself blasphemously implies the Intelligent Designer might have had a soft spot for Judy Garland. Here's their latest, beautifully draped, assault on his machohood, as posted at Unpaid Punditry Corps.


Sunday, August 14, 2005

BE WERRY AFWAID:
Early today, actor Christopher Walken, 62, held a private conference at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York in which he announced his intentions to run for the Presidency of the United States in the 2008 Election.

Said the Queens native, "I have always been a follower of politics. My father was friends with the mayor of Schodack (NY) back in the 1940's. We would walk the streets of Schodack and the people, they would wave to him. The children adored him. That is what I love to be, a man of respect and love." --walken2008.com


"There are some things I don't do."
--Christopher Walken as Frank White in King of New York
UPDATE: Days later, a spokesperson for Walken said he had nothing to do with this, so it must have been someone's wishful thinking. I know that I hoped it was true. To a satirist, this campaign offered as much material as Arnold's race for Governator.

Friday, August 12, 2005

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MULLAHS:

Don't be fooled by what the usual liberal suspects are claiming is a growing civil war in Iraq. Evidence that this is all just a Potemkin jihad (yes! I coined that term!) comes from a new musical just opening in Baghdad. It was obviously plagiarized freely from Oscar Hammerstein the second's original, set in the Red State heartland of Oklahoma. The title song is not the only one whose lyrics were twisted to make their terrorist point for this production of Al-Fallujah:
Al-Fallujah, where the Euphrates goes rolling by,
And the bridges cross, though Britain tossed
Misdirected bombs to blow them high.
Much more ominous is the frightening revision of the song about the farmer and the cowman. Now it is clearly intended as propaganda to praise the cooperation of those supposedly "deadly enemies":
(Old Woman:) The Sunni and the Shiite should ally.
Oh, the Shiite and the Sunni should ally.
One accepts the Caliph picked,
One says that their man was tricked,
But to kill invaders they should ally.

(Chorus:) Al-Fallujah men should work together.
Mujahideen all -- don't be a foe.
Shiites can bring us bombs from Iran;
Sunnis can take them where they'll blow.

(Sunni:) I'd like to speak in praise of old Saddam.
He made us proud and built a lot of schools.
(Shiite:) His schools even took in girls as pupils,
And Shari'a was not part of his rules.

(Old Woman:) The Sunni and the Shiite should ally.
Oh, the Shiite and the Sunni should ally.
One man likes to wed for life,
The other wants a time-stamped wife,
But for a bigger cause they can ally.

(Chorus:) All Islamic men rebel together.
We're insurgents all -- don't be a foe.
Let the Yankees think we fight each other;
We'll be better off the less they know.

(Old Woman:) I'd like to speak about the WMD's,
Especially the nukes that can pound so good.
I am not saying that the U.S. should not have them,
But if they can then everybody should!
I am not saying that the U.S. should not have them,
But if they can then everybody should!

(Chorus:) All Iraqi men should fight together,
All the occupied ones must team up.
Sunnis can empty out the skull and
Shiites drink from the bloody cup.

Friday, August 05, 2005

THE LAST TEMPTATION OF HOWARD:

(With apologies to Joni Mitchell.)

The way they count it, he spun,
We just can't win it....
Candidates are focussed on their own race:
We can't poll watch all.
When every loser dons a tin-foil hat,
I sympathize,
But -- don't call for recounts.
That would just remind folks of my screaming time.
Though I hate the G.O.P.,
As Chair I hew the responsible line.

I was a free man in Vermont.
There all our ballot counts were clean.
We did not fear Republican votes were stolen,
And even they were pretty green.
I would go back to making house calls,
But someone has to clean the grime
Clogging our political system
From those theocratic slime.

I console bloggers,
And dead horse floggers.
Someday I must ask just what is the point.
What I'd love to do
Is go home from this joint
And watch as
The leaves turn scarlet
Just making an honest living,
Praised when I help to cure an ill,
And never denounced as shrill.

I was a free man in Vermont.
There all our ballot counts were clean.
We did not fear Republican votes were stolen,
And even they were pretty green.
I would go back to making house calls,
But someone has to clean the grime
Clogging our political system
From those theocratic slime.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Weblog Commenting by HaloScan.com