Wednesday, March 31, 2004


You're Vatican City!
You're pretty sure that you're infallible in all that you do or say, and
it's hard to say whether you're right.  You have a lot of followers, most of whom will do whatever you say without question, or line up to see you ride around in your spiffy car.  Religious and reserved, you have some wisdom, but also a bit much contempt for everyone around you.  You're also fabulously wealthy, no matter what you say to the contrary.

Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

(Found at ink from the squid.)

Scouting out the latest liberal insanities for your amusement or outrage.

August J. Pollak passes along a reminder that tomorrow is the date for a truly silly liberal campaign of lese majesty, National "I'm Embarrassed by My President" Day.

And Then... shows typical liberal elitism in saying the voters are really bird brains.

Collective Sigh likewise cruelly mocks the artistic taste of supporters of Our Noble Leader, as shown by two wonderful fine art prints. (I recognize Dick on the tractor in the oil patch, Condi with the pitchfork, and Colin with what must be a manure shovel, but is that the two Bush girls on the fence in cutoffs?)

Whoever the woman is playing golf in that painting may have trouble this summer, according to Bertram Online, who alerts us to more Big Government interference resulting in an "Immigrant Labor Shortage Anticipated for Golf Courses". "I wept because I had no shoes, until I met a clubhouse pro who had no cheap greenskeepers."

Body and Soul condemns the growing attacks on young witches in Angola. "It's almost beyond imagining -- parents setting their own children ablaze or burying them alive, hanging, stoning, drowning children as young as 5", she writes in "Easy Evil". Her real agenda is shown in one line from the news story: "Some blamed the recent proliferation of fire-and-brimstone evangelical churches in Angola, whose apocalyptic vision of the universe -- and profit from exorcisms -- meshes nicely with an epidemic of witchcraft." She's not making a papist protest against protestants, but condemning capitalistic churches charging for their costs. What does she want instead? Socialized witch-hunting at the taxpayer's expense?

Magpie attempts to play on our emotions about the two women who were the lead plaintiffs in the Taxachusetts suit that brought gay marriage to that "Commonwealth". This is what they give as their excuse: "Then, one day when Annie was 5, the little girl heard the Beatles song "All You Need is Love" and began listing people she knew who loved one another. Julie and Hillary were not among them. "What about Ma and Mommy?" Hillary asked. "You two don't love each other," Annie said, adding: "If you loved each other, you'd be married."" As the movie says, "Makes you cry. Und I did."

Professor Kim's News Notes reports that another domino is falling. In England, both liberals and conservatives are backing a "civil unions" bill and actually chasing gay votes. Showing how shockingly different the social climate is there is this article: ""At the moment it is a question of (the Tories) dipping their toes in the water, and I'm not sure that gay electors will be skinny-dipping with [Conservative leader] Michael Howard just yet." At the last two elections research suggests nearly half the 'pink vote' backed Labour: around a third of gay electors voted Liberal Democrat, with only nine per cent for the Tories."

The Sideshow couldn't resist pointing to an attack on Mel Gibson's movie masterpiece by Garry Wills, sneering at simple believers who are less erudite than he: "My wife and I had to stop glancing furtively at each other for fear we would burst out laughing. It had gone beyond sadism into the comic surreal, like an apocalyptic version of Swinburne's The Whipping Papers."

Old Whig's Brain Dump points to a glaring example of how the cancer of liberal ideas is spreading. He links to a column by Thomas Sowell where he claims to be a conservative, yet advocates abolishing the Departments of Justice and of Homeland Security. What leftist rubbish!! How could John Ashcroft protect us from terminal cancer patients smoking pot, not to mention nude statues? How would Tom Ridge save us from the evil almanac readers? Then for icing on the cake, the famous kidney entrepreneur calls for increasing Congressional pay to one million dollars!! Pardon my cynicism, but this sounds like he plans to run for that job himself.

Clearly I made a mistake on my blogroll, by putting Spectre AWOL under "Evil Leftists". No doubt it was skippy's endless abuse of that term "awol" which misled me. Judging by Spectre's praise for good gun lovers like Ted Nugent ("Call me Mother Theresa with a glock"), I have moved him to the "Heroic Rightists" category, along with other Patriots like Jesus' General.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

In the course of hyping a forthcoming book to which she contributed (another example of the pot calling the milk pitcher black, entitled "Big Bush Lies: The 20 Most Telling Lies of President George W. Bush"), liberal parodess Madeleine Kane reveals in passing that she is a "recovering lawyer". I am glad to see that she has joined the ranks of others who could, but don't, though I doubt if her reason is the same protest against the insidious asbestos chasers. Frankly the thought of the mistress of melodic mockery before the bar is frightening. Think of her arguing Brown v. Board of Education, and bursting into song with something like "The red and yellow, black and white, All are precious in Myrdal's sight." What a missed opportunity. If it hadn't set back liberal judicial activism by years, at least it would have made for more entertaining audio tapes.

I seldom listen to radio, since to me good music died in Europe in 1883, and in America in the same year that FDR seized control of our republic, 1932, while talk radio seems pointless to we insiders who already have the real answers. (That confidence helps us avoid yielding to despair and drugs, like some more moderate talk show hosts.) Those who do listen to the broadcast ranters need to be warned that the leftists are launching a new assault on that front.

In our three largest cities and a growing list of smaller ones, something called, almost blasphemously, "Air America Radio", will begin carrying a new talk show with the unspeakably vile radical "humorist" Al Franken (callously called "The O'Franken Factor"). More details about this aggression against our ears can be found posted by Julia at Sisyphus Shrugged, a blog whose very name shows hopeless confusion about our noble mythological traditions. This is part of a lineup including other usual suspects like Randi Rhodes and (ugh!!) Janeane Garofalo. There are two ways to approach this madness. Ignore those stations at those times, and warn your friends to do the same, or tune in anyway, just to laugh at typical liberal stupidity like "Enrons cause unemployment".

The latest Gallup Poll should reassure conservatives who forgot that what goes up must come down. Bush is back ahead of Kerry by three points, and by five if Nader keeps on getting Republican money to stay in the race. (You can write Ralph and tell him how glad you are he is splitting the Democratic vote for us by using his web form HERE or just send email to info@votenader.org.) Don't despair when Our Noble Leader is behind. Both of them will keep bouncing up and down in the polls until The October Surprise finally settles things.

What may surprise many is another item from that poll. "Americans are generally split between viewing Bush as too conservative (38%) and about right (40%), while 15% consider him too liberal." Who, you may wonder, are those "extremist" 15%? Well, count me among them. It's not just the obvious things, like his huge deficit. (I know, it will cripple any future Democrat's ability to increase handouts to the non-rich, therefore helping keep wages low and profits high, but it's still distasteful, because it's something that liberals did for years. One hates to imitate them in any way.)

Bush also bothers some of us by the way he bends over backwards to appease the leftists here at home. Just today, he caved in to liberal pressure and agreed to let Condi testify in public and under oath before the 9-11 commission. This just encourages them by showing fear. Let the media scream. There'll shortly be an indictment in the Michael Jackson case, and they'll move on like a flock of birds from a telephone wire.

Despite this kind of cowering before the puffed-up Media, we still support The Only President We've Got. That should refute the radicals who claim he is a divider, not a uniter. Wait and see, even the currently silly whining Sullies of the right will fall into line this fall with our "Anybody But Kerry" campaign. Contrary to the old song, love will not bring us together, but mutual anger at liberals. The threat is just too great of being overruled again by the Left Coast on the west and the Left Behind Coast on the east.

It is not enough for liberals to attack Our Noble Leader themselves. Now they have resorted to necromancy for their mud-slinging. Thanks to the soulful sisters at Interfaith Nunnery, we see that the Bard Of Avon himself has been resurrected and given a web site at The Wooden O, just so that he can snipe at our President, whom he belittles as "Prince Shrublet". He goes on insultingly "I never did make a play in which the King and the Fool were one and the same ... Think on it, gentles: Bottom, in his dream, made an emperor! Or Dogberry, from police constable, become a great man, prince of a nation. Such a play I could make!"

There is more of the same at "The Most Lamentable Comedy of King George II". One shudders at the prospect of his new work, perhaps ending with Bush, abandoned by his Secret Service agents as invading marshals from the International Criminal Court approach, shouting "A Hummer! My administration for a Hummer!" (On second thought, that would be more proper for a play about The Clenis.)

William's support of the Democratic rebels against the White House is surprising. He was notorious for loyalty to those in power, flattering the monarchy by prophecy in MacBeth, and spreading outright lies about their enemies in Richard III (best documented by Josephine Tey in The Daughter Of Time). Why would he jump the traces now? The answer is in the ancestry. ""Our research is not yet complete but my bet is that Kerry has more royal connections and that he is more noble than President Bush," said Harold Brooks-Baker, publishing director of Burke's Peerage, a guide to the British aristocracy." This story is at "Royal genes may win Kerry the White House".

John Heinz-Kerry's party is desperately selling out their "common people" credentials to nominate the most royal relative available. Americans proudly reject such a "divine right of kings" in favor of the "divine right of Presidents". We will not be fooled by The Ketchup Consort's attempts to muddy the theological waters. Shakespeare himself pointed out (in The Merchant of Venice, Act I, Scene 3) how even "The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose." So he did with James 2:14 at a campaign rally, as pointed out by Magpie.

Neither religiosity nor royalty will be enough. The Remake of JFK has already revealed his truly traitorous character. He has proven his disloyalty by turning against an old fraternity brother. Worse, he is running against his own cousin, even if it's only a 16th cousin, three times removed. The truth is he displays the kind of loving "family values" which Will himself portrayed so well in Titus Andronicus. But ancestral research reveals something even more frightening about that vile French speaker from the Hub.

"A respected Czech historian is claiming that the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee may be a descendant of the great Rabbi Judah Loew ... who ... is said to have created the Golem to protect Prague's Jewish community from outside threats. The Golem, as legend has it, was a faithful servant until Loew was forced to drain the creature of its life force after it developed an ego and disobeyed its creator." That story ought to worry those who want to ride this donkey back to power. What if Loew's descendant also began to think for himself, instead of just taking orders from all those special interests like George Soros? If John-boy's not loyal to his own relatives, why trust his loyalty to his party?

Sunday, March 28, 2004

As Dave Barry would put it, when someone asks us how leftists interfere with family values, we can always point them to this story from Romania, which shows big government sticking its oppressive nose into traditional religion. The helpless people might as well still be living under Ceausescu.

"Before Toma Petre's relatives pulled his body from the grave, ripped out his heart, burned it to ashes, mixed it with water and drank it, he hadn't been in the news much. That's often the way here with vampires. Quiet lives, active deaths. Villagers here aren't up in arms about the undead - they're pretty common - but they are outraged that the police are involved in a simple vampire slaying. After all, vampire slaying is an accepted, though hidden, bit of national heritage, even if illegal. ...

"Ghindeano added that police were expanding the investigation, which began in mid-January, to include the after-deaths of others in area. "The investigation is ongoing, and we expect to file charges later," he said, referring to possible charges of disturbing the peace of the dead, which could carry a three-year jail term. ...

"Vampires are obvious when dug up because while they will have been laid to rest on their backs, arms folded neatly across their chests, they will be found on their sides or even their stomachs. ... But the biggest tip-off that a vampire is near is his or her family, for vampires always prey on their families. ... "That's the problem with vampires," said Doru Morinescu, a 30-year-old shepherd who, like many in the village, has a family connection to the current case. "They'd be all right if you could set them after your enemies. But they only kill loved ones. I can understand why, but they have to be stopped.""

When vampire killing is outlawed, only outlaws will kill vampires. Read the whole tale of modernist assault on traditional values at "Romanian villagers decry police investigation into vampire slaying", which was spotted by James Russell.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

I seldom read Communist propaganda. Way back in prep school I knew that subjective value theory had undercut the basis of Marx's collectivist economics. Thus I probably would never have known about the Commissar's panning of me (see "Drawing Blood" below) if Gary Cruse of The Owner's Manual had not told me. Sharing my love of Wagner, and with a trait all too rare among fellow FreeRepublic readers, a sense of humor, he cited and linked to me, which I have reciprocated on the sidebar. (I also listed the Commissar there, but had to create a new category for him, since he is even more vile than the other leftists.) Exploring Gary's site cleared up another recent mystery for me.

Why was Michael Eisner kicked aside from the sole imperial throne at Disney? Was it just petty vengeance from Walt's not yet frozen descendants? Gary found the clue to the real truth. The world champion stock option gobbler embarassed all the stockholders by his gross appeasment of the artsy types, always a risk among Hollywrong executives. He failed to put down his foot and prevent the opening of a tasteless exhibit which exploited the company's chief icon to mock the pain of our victims of terrorism.

"A sculpture which features Mickey Mouse flying an aeroplane into the Twin Towers was unveiled today. ... The Twin Towers exhibit, entitled Mickey's Taliban Adventures, ... shows Disney's famous mouse flying a toy plane into foam-like recreations of the World Trade Centre. The buildings all have eyes to give them a surprised expression, while one of the towers has flames made of felt shooting out of it." You can read it all and see the hideous picture at "9/11 art takes the Mickey".

"A hit, a very palpable hit." --Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 2

When the far left attacks you, it means you're doing something right. Yesterday an unapologetic Communist took a sideswipe at me. This was an unusual departure for The Politburo Diktat (slogan: "Exposing Imperialist Lackeys, Capitalist Reactionaries, and Zionist Running Dogs"), perhaps the last revanchist refugee from the old Soviet nomenklatura. Usually that Central Committee member vomits his venomous bile on liberals, not on the lovers of Corporate Enterprise.

This is the same strategy the hammer and sickle squads used in the Spanish Civil War, as described in George Orwell's Homage to Catalonia. Stalin ordered his agents there to concentrate on sabotaging the anti-fascist forces, because he was more afraid of a non-Communist liberal government than he was of Franco. The Commissar, as he calls himself on his blog, likewise expends most of his effort condemning Democrats, opponents of Gulf Preemption II, and other leftists in general.

No doubt this explains why almost all the blogs which link to him are not liberals, but conservatives. They may disagree with his professed ideology, but they love his mud throwing at the left. (In a strange reverse parallel, most of the sites which have linked to my own blog are actually liberals. This probably means they want to wallow in bleeding hearted guilt by seeing their flaws recited.)

Just as Stalin was willing to make a deal with Herr Schickelgruber himself to gobble up Poland, the Commissar showed no shame in attacking me by an unfavorable comparison to an open supporter of the Islamic Terrorist Agenda, the blogger of Allah Is In The House, who claims to be the Muslim deity Himself. This must be true, or He would have long ago been decapitated for blasphemy by the Saudis' friends at the Project for the New American Empire.

Just like 1939's alliance against the Poles, this pact with the personified Opiate of The People would not be enough to prevent the jihad from later turning against the remnant Politburo as well. Fortunately for them, my way of dealing with the threat, while not very sportsmanlike, will once again pull the Marxist fat out of the fire they are helping to fuel.

In the aftermath of 9-11, one of my competitors wimped out and displayed mealy mouthed moderation, writing that "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." I reject this compromise as insufficient. I prefer to deal with "Allahpundit" according to the theory in "The Grey God Passes", the third issue of the classic Conan the Barbarian comic book. Its suggestion was that when a deity's believers all die, then the god himself ceases to exist.

Right now Karl and Dick have put my own proposal on hold until after the election, paranoid that if they followed it, so many voters might decide to play Lady Macbeth at the polls that not even Diebold could overcome them. Once we get Our Noble Leader reselected we can proceed with my plan.

Border provocations in Kashmir should be used to cause a Pakistani nuclear strike against India. This will be the excuse for India, Israel, Russia, China, and the U.S. to simultaneously unleash our thermonuclear arsenals against the breeding grounds of religious terrorists in every Islamic country on earth. The deaths of over one billion Muslims will be a great incentive for conversion by the remaining thirty million, almost all in Europe.

"Allahpundit", bereft of believers, will just fade away like radioactive smoke dissolving. Car exhaust fumes that glow in the dark will help save money for cash-strapped local governments, by reducing the amount of street lighting needed. An increase in the mutation rate (think of a whole new generation of The X-Men) is not too high a price to pay for Unconditional Victory in the ultimate Cultural War.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

The canonized posthumous blogger Jeanne D'Orleans notes this story. "A robot Christ was used for crucifixion scenes in Mel Gibson's new movie The Passion, it emerged yesterday. The 220,000 [pounds] electrical body double was made because the weather was too cold for actor Jim Caviezel, 35, to be filmed in just a loincloth." She then comments "It seems so fitting to me that Mel Gibson's God would turn out to be an expensive machine." Actually, this has been a well known heresy for sixty years. Like Arianism, it is named after its leading advocate. Theologians call this one Isabelianism.

Sarcastic liberals prove how they hate family values by mocking conservative NRO columnist Meghan Cox Gurdon's reports on raising her children. Her March 19 column, "Big Sleeps", was about terrorism's disruptions of our lives, causing little girls to oversleep and pets to fake death to escape their cages. Snarky leftists attacked her again, especially her title and closing lines which refer to the classic movie and novel. World O'Crap paraphrased Chinatown in "The hormonal tide that leads, ultimately, to coffee", while TBogg did a full-scale detective parody in "I, the Mummy".

Frankly, noir is not Gurdon's medium. Her columns are more like a poorly written version of Shirley Jackson's droll child-rearing tales in Life Among the Savages. It is certainly possible to find politics in Jackson's work, like her classic story "The Lottery". But if Gurdon really wants to use a family saga as a vehicle for political sniping, her model should be one of Jackson's novels:

(A massively condensed summary)

My name is Mollie Coxe Gudron. I am eighteen, and live with my sister Violetta. All the other Republicans in my family are dead. I have to go into the village, to the library, and the grocery; Violetta never goes past the garden, and Uncle Thomas can't. When I do, the gossips make bitter remarks, just loud enough for me to hear, hoping I'll carry their words back home. The subtle ones ask each other if they remember how great a steak or a pork chop used to taste. Most of them aren't subtle.

Last week I came home to find that our irritating Democratic next door neighbor had come over for tea. Martha is still on parole, so she has to wear an ankle monitor that keeps her close to home, but our log cabin is within range so she pesters us with visits. Those always intimidate Violetta into getting out the good china, and being obsessive about how the napkins are folded. This time she brought along a guest, a reporter whose name I couldn't understand, something like "Baba Wawa". She wanted to ask Uncle Thomas about the tragedy. They always do.

She began by buttering him up, saying how many people considered him a hero for the way he adopted and raised us after everyone died. Uncle Thomas said it was the least he could do for the orphans of a fellow conservative columnist like Meggie (that's what he calls mummy). He admitted it was more expensive than he expected, which is why he had raised extra money by selling a kidney, then both legs, one arm, and a lung, and now had to use a wheel chair.

Did it bother him, she asked, that even though Violetta was never charged with a crime, lots of people still blamed her for the federal ban on meat? No, he said, he just couldn't understand why so many refused to believe his articles proving she wasn't responsible. Yes, Meggie had punished Violetta, after her excess zeal as a new PETA member led her to pour red paint on mummy's fur, but Vi was always non-violent. It was inconceivable that the pacifist little girl would have put massive amounts of anthrax in the food at the annual bipartisan Al Smith Dinner that October.

Uncle said the deaths of Meggie, her husband, and another daughter, were only footnotes to that dinner's hundreds of corpses, including all of that year's Presidential candidates except one. You might as well blame him, since Dennis Kucinich, the Green Party candidate, survived because, like Violetta, he was a vegan who didn't eat meat. The culprit must have been a terrorist, not a vengeful child. She certainly was not at fault for the prohibition of meat imposed by President Kucinich as an anti-terror measure. After all, he won because he was the only person on the ballot who was still alive.

The TV snoop then went over the line, asking if Violetta and I weren't "closer than normal". I was proud of my sister for responding "Are you asking if we have sex with each other?" Martha got in a tizzy of embarrassment and hurried Baba out. As they were leaving I heard the reporter say "I should have known better. On the old Today show I got caught the same way by Shirley McClain, when I asked about her and Warren Beatty."

Later we had an even less welcome visitor, our estranged black sheep Democratic brother Parsi. He claimed to know that mummy had stashed away lots of money in the house, and he wanted his share. Uncle demanded that he leave. Parsi showed how vindictive he was by going straight to the local Clear Channel radio station, where he appeared on the call-in talk show of former Senator Santorum. He told the listeners that my sister and I were planning to get married, which would be not only lesbianism but incest as well. This stirred up an angry mob which came and tried to burn down the house. Uncle Thomas died before the flames were put out by the firefighters.

We hid in the woods from the mob and watched the fire burn. I told Violetta that I really would be happy to marry her if she wanted. She said "Molliecoxe, forget it. Not even Massachusetts lets sisters get married."

I was feeling very close to her then, so I said "You know I didn't really add the anthrax to kill those candidates. I just wanted to get back at mummy for letting my pet rabbit loose in the woods to punish me, after she caught us kissing."

"Don't worry, Molliecoxe," she replied. "They have no proof. Let them suspect me all they want. We can just stay here in the log cabin and live off my garden." Then she hugged me hard. And that's how we've carried on ever since.

Recently Martha visited again, having been pardoned by the Democrats. She says the country is healthier now, since no one eats meat, and it's a lot more liberal, since Texas seceded from the union rather than stop raising cattle. She understands that Bush's brother Jeb moved there and became President. He's now talking about a preemptive invasion of Costa Rica, an easy mark since it has no army. I just went on pulling weeds, telling her "Cela est bien dit, mais il faut cultiver notre jardin."

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Those liberal elitist ivory tower political scientists always complain that they can't test their "theories" in the real world. The only good thing about San Francisco's recent month of "marriages" is that we can now see the DATA about the 4,037 "couples" who got "licenses". This confirms my own suspicion about who the real villains are behind this anti-capitalistic assault on the manufacturers of closet doors. G. K. Chesterton had already pointed them out in The Man Who Was Thursday. "Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it. ... Bigamists respect marriage, or they would not go through the highly ceremonial and even ritualistic formality of bigamy. But philosophers despise marriage as marriage."

Those same sex "couples" are just like the bigamists, with a distorted "respect" for weddings, or at least for wedding gowns. They were only unwitting tools being manipulated by our old enemies on the campuses. The proof? "68.8 percent held at least a college degree" and another 19% had "some college". More than six out of seven had been exposed to the indoctrination of our liberal universities. I think we know just which schools those were. How many of those "similar pairs" (as the figure skating world calls such unaesthetic same gender couplings) went to good private religious institutions like Regent University or Bob Jones University?

The solution to this leftist brainwashing is obvious. We should end all taxpayer funding of higher "education". It looks like Our Noble Leader is making a first step to this goal. "The Bush administration is proposing to redirect three financial aid programs that disproportionately benefit some of the wealthiest private colleges in New England. The move would shift tens of millions of dollars away from the region and toward the Sun Belt." Read about it at "Shift eyed in aid for N.E. colleges".

Though a good beginning, this does not go far enough. Privatize them completely, and leave post-high school studies in the hands of the churches -- or at least, of our conservative churches. Frankly, that means the only schools we can trust are the ones mocked by liberals as "Bible colleges". Even the Catholic universities can not be trusted. Too many of them suffer from the virus of Thomistic Aristotelian "logic", which subverted the dogmatic Augustinian truths of medieval times. That challenge to traditional unquestioned faith, originated by those openly homosexual ancient Greeks, was injected back into Europe by translations from Arabic texts. Clearly this was an early radical Muslim attempt at revenge for their losses in the Crusades.

But there is even more frightening news in the report from Sodom on the Bay. The "Same-sex marriage demographics" CHART shows a "Gender breakdown" (an obvious Freudian slip) of 57% Lesbian, 42% Gay, and "0.3% Unknown". Does this mean there were 24 people who couldn't tell what organs they had, or does it mean something even worse? Were the warnings of Senator Santorum correct? Could this be a dozen couples who were not only cross dressers, but cross species as well? Do we need to require both participants in weddings to have only two feet?

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Liberals are screaming about a proposed bill to let Congress overturn Supreme Court decisions. [I wrote more about this flawed idea, and a much better one, on The American Street at "Stuff The Courts".] It is fun to watch leftists turn into born-again lovers of The Federalist Papers to find arguments for the separation of powers. Usually they attack that work as propaganda for a centralized pro-business government. It's the same sort of hypocrisy which lets them praise Jefferson for his implicitly anarchist Declaration of Independence, while never mentioning how he set the precedent for Bush's cultural war against the Islamonazis by attacking the Barbary Pirates. (And he did it without either a declaration of war or permission from the Congress of Vienna, and never found any WMDs there. Both unilateral and preemptive!!)

The liberals were right in their previous suspicions about that book. It was a pack of promises, put forth only to win ratification for the Constitution. Alexander Hamilton even felt compelled (in No. 79) to butter up "The enlightened friends to good government". He certainly knew the masses better than that. The public then was as easily misled by the literal rabble rousing of "democrats" like Tom Paine, as they are today by born-again Bush critics like Howard Stern.

For months now lefties have complained about polls showing most Americans believed Saddam did have Weapons Of Unusual Size at the start of the Baghdad Reconquista. They blame the media, especially the fare of balladromic Faux News. They always fail to see the obvious -- if the voters are that ignorant, then someone else really needs to make their decisions for them. The Senator from ESS, out of sheer civic spirit, is working on that now.

Back to the new liberal canon. In No. 47 James Madison based his praise of independent judges on a popular writer of that day. "The British constitution was to Montesquieu, what Homer has been to the didactic writers on epic poetry." Always be suspicious whenever someone quotes any Frenchman. Madison's favorite 18th century Baron showed early signs of the current French love of appeasement, when he suggested that women were best "to govern an empire" because "their very weakness gives them more gentleness and moderation, which, rather than the harsh and ferocious virtues, can make for a good environment." Somehow, that doesn't sound like a good description of the Democratic Presidentress In Waiting (or of *ahem* certain distaff commentators).

Homer, I remind you, was blind. So was Montesquieu -- to the heroism of a conquering ruler. His dull spirit welcomed the safety of "balanced" collective inertia. He would have hated Our Noble Leader's unilateral preemptive application to the government of Iraq of the election by appointment allowed in Bush v. Gore. (Scalia's unsigned decision only said it could not be used as a precedent here. It never precluded that in other countries.)

Madison (who himself launched a preemptive war to conquer Canada -- a good idea which would have spared us the threat of gay marriages and unfairly cheap medicine just next door) in No. 47 praised "The constitution of Massachusetts ... [which] declares "that the legislative department shall never exercise the executive and judicial powers, or either of them". That was all said long before Adam met Steve in Boston. It was also setting up a straw Congress to argue against.

Under the proposed new bill, Congress would do the very opposite of exercising judicial power. Even the Supreme Court itself would do less exercising of that power. After two hundred and fifteen years, don't they deserve a rest from their labor? Especially since, like most doddering old fogies, they seem to be getting -- dare I say it -- senile in their decisions. Would a young and vigorous John Marshall have dreamed of telling Texans that they can't jail the heterosexually challenged? Actually John died a year before the Alamo, but I am sure Senator Santorum would be interested in the domestic habits which led to the name of those pre-Anglo residents of the Lone Star State, the Karankawa. It is not recorded how they felt about berdache.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

As the nation continues to suffer the job losses caused by The Clenis's economic policies (carefully planned to happen only after he left office, so that She Who Must Not Be Named can run for President herself promising to restore Clintonian Happy Days), we may console ourselves that at least one more liberal has also had to hit the streets. In Portland, Oregon, Kevin Hayden, blogger of ReachM High Cowboy Network Noose and more recently The American Street, has had to start looking for work too. He therefore gives us the good news that his fiercely anti-Bush blogging may be in shorter supply for months to come. If you know of any jobs there, don't tell him about them. In a spirit of Good Riddance, this has inspired me to write a poem, in the style of that other sniping liberal, Mad Kane. Of course I myself naturally chose a noble patriotic poem as my model. You may go enjoy its inspired words at "On Dead Blog Sites".

Sunday, March 07, 2004

It's sad to see how good Catholic girls like Jeanne D'Orleans, corrupted by liberalism, are promoting denunciations of Our Noble Leader like this one by Jimmy Breslin. "In his first campaign commercial, George Bush reached down and molested the dead. ...this second George Bush came up with the badge of a Port Authority cop, George Howard, who died. ...George W. Bush acts like he's entitled to treat the remains of a dead man like a souvenir. Now he shows a commercial with dead bodies, or body parts, covered with an American flag being taken through the smoke and flames of the world trade center attack." You can find his entire rant at "He molests the dead".

This shows just what kind of mud slinging lefties will stoop to. Breslin should put up or shut up. If he really believes Bush is guilty of necrophilia, then he should report that to the police and have him put where Martha Stewart can redecorate his cell. Maybe Jimmy is just accusing the only President we've got of sin? Well, that won't wash either. Consider the list of the Seven Deadly Sins, so memorably depicted in one old movie. Notice that "molesting the dead" is not one of them, nor is waving the badges of dead police officers, much less showing corpses in commercials. (That absurd prohibition would also cripple the arts. You would no longer be able to make things like this sacred keychain. But I'm sure liberals wouldn't care, if they could thereby shut down pious films.)

Wrath, however, is on the list. Clearly Breslin and his accessory at Body and Soul are guilty of this. Now if they find a canon lawyer who's not a good Opus Dei member, he'll no doubt spout disingenuous arguments that Jimmy and Jeanne aren't really guilty. One Catechism says "2303 Deliberate hatred is contrary to charity. Hatred of the neighbor is a sin when one deliberately wishes him evil. Hatred of the neighbor is a grave sin when one deliberately desires him grave harm." Let them deny, if they dare, that they both want Bush defeated in this year's election. For a True Statesman like him, what more grave harm could there be? To continue their hate-filled course, now that I have explained the proper dogma, would mean they will not only injure their own souls. They will also merit, along with all others who defy the Church's teaching, the traditional punishment for heresy.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

While small minds like Rove and Santorum obsess about the spreading rebellion of silly local governments actually performing gay marriages (which, in Jefferson's words, "neither breaks my leg nor picks my pocket"), they are ignoring the real, ever growing threat of spouses using husbands as stalking horses to seize power for themselves, so that they can enact their Feminist Agenda. (I procured a copy of this, from an infiltrator I'll call "Deep Cigar", for just one day from the last administration. It began "1. Awake, 2. Get botox shot, 3. Do mercy hand relief of hubby, 4. Replace several staffers with female personal loyalists....")

Everyone knows about the always looming danger of the Oval Office In Exile operated by the Rodhamites. That callous carpetbagger is not alone. Like Black Widows, these psychic castraters realize the biological usefulness of not putting all their eggs in one web. More people are catching onto the equally insidious dreams of power by the Ketchup Queen whose whipped puppet has now effectively locked up the Demagogic nomination. But did you realize that her latest stalking horse is not the only male she has enthralled into doing her will?

I've heard several people say thankfully, "At least she can't become President herself, since she was born in Africa." They really believe that fool Orrin Hatch is just trying to help the new Governor of Californicatoria, by trying to amend the Constitution to allow naturalized citizens to seek the White House. I'm sure that's what she told Orrin, and he too was gullible enough to swallow the lie. Her true plan is obvious. Terry plans to be sitting in that office herself someday, speaking French and eating caviar, while she explains the country's first all-female cabinet by saying "It's just so hard to find a qualified man."

This virus of Hillaritus is spreading to other countries as well. "For weeks, Mexico has been abuzz with rumors that Marta Sahagun, Mexico's first lady, might run for president in 2006." She too is setting herself up to replace the drone she installed in their Presidential mansion when his term ends. In a column in Reforma, Denise Dresser writes "Sahagun has gone mad, plain and simple. ... Surrounded by an entourage of sycophants, Sahagun doesn't know how to measure the distance between who she is and who she believes she could be. ... That's the only way to explain why Vicente Fox is encouraging his wife's presidential aspirations instead of nipping them in the bud. She whispers in his ear that there's a conspiracy against both of them, and he believes her."

Yes, that imaginary "Evil Right Wing Cabal" seems to be at work south of the border as well. As the song says, "Into your life it will creep...." Read a translation of the whole column at "The First Lady Is Crazy", a title which would not even have been a news item at all in this country while The Clenis was in office.

Of course, she and the "twa ravens" sabotaging the U.S. had noted examples to work from, also from Latin America. That very confused dictator of Argentina, Juan Peron, who couldn't ever stop playing Hamlet to decide between helping workers or corporations (and paid for it by being removed), was a captive of two such Puppet Mistresses. The first, Eva, tried to become his Vice-President before her death. (She was later prettied up by lefty writers in a musical, which became a movie starring a proven left-winger. A more appropriate "magical realist" tale of what happened to her corpse can be found in the fascinating novel Santa Evita.) His second consort, Isabel, did become his Vice-President in a later term, then President herself after his death. It did not last long before she was kicked out too. The dangerous example set by these two is obviously still inspiring the Hillarys and their ilk, and the rest of the world -- or at least the male minority of the population -- may finally be replaced by real majority rule. Liberals, blindly suppporting "affirmative action", should love it.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

No doubt this was one of the proposed anti-Bush ads that Move-On decided not to accept for their contest, perhaps because it doesn't say anything about Hitler or Nazis. I'll only point out the philosophical flaw when this says Our Noble Leader has "the total combined intelligence of a wet sock and a mud brick". That is mixing apples and oranges, since it is no more possible to combine the minds of such different substances than it is to have a "marriage" between two people of the same gender. Don't try this at work, but if you want to see how juvenile liberals' sense of humor is, turn on your computer's sound and visit THIS SITE.

Liberals are such milquetoast amateurs when it comes to political dirty tricks. They think they make points just by mocking their betters, when all that does is overcome their own people with laughter so that they miss the mastodon sneaking into the capitol. A great example just appeared in Our Leader's home state of Texas. In Tarrant County (Fort Worth), the only contest for Judge in next week's Republican Primary pits black incumbent Wayne Salvant against a white challenger, Mike Deegan, who has just sent a postcard to Republican voters there. It features pictures of both, with the words "Tarrant County Voters -- ELECT a Judge that reflects your values", which are placed directly over the black Judge's picture.

Now here's where the silly liberals show their futile approach to dirty tricks. One obviously left-wing reporter, always trying to find the KKK under every rock, decided to mock Deegan in his column for making a racist appeal, which Deegan of course denies. Foolishly he interviewed that challenger, hoping to hang him with his own words. All that did was allow the candidate to explain the truth to the world.

"Deegan pointed to one of Salvant's mailings and claimed that it tries "to make people think that you're white when you're not." The Salvant mailing contains a quote supporting him from Tarrant County Sheriff Dee Anderson. Anderson's photograph appears beside Anderson's quote. Deegan said voters might believe that Salvant is actually Anderson, who is white. Deegan said, "You could easily believe that was him. Why doesn't he put his own picture in there? I don't know." Many voters, Deegan added, are not informed enough to recognize that the photograph is of Anderson and not of Salvant." (You can read that whole column at "Candidate's mailing raises questions".)

Well, I'm certainly convinced by his explanation. Just like that profane web ad shows, liberals just don't know how to really use humor against their political foes. You've got to be nasty, as Karl will be demonstrating soon against John Heinz-Kerry.

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