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Saturday, February 10, 2007

TOP HEADLINES FROM ANSNews
"All Anna Nicole All The Time"


Osama Bin Laden Gives Up Struggle After ANS Death
Terrorist leader says he didn't hate us for our freedoms, only for our floozy.

UN Says ANS Death Will End Global Warming
New study shows it was caused by her breathy speech after all.

Hillary Drops Out Of Race For President
Senator claims her only motive was to provide an alternative role model for girls "instead of that bimbette".

Iraqi Militias Agree In Principle To Cease-Fire
Bulk of their brigades are committing suicide to be with ANS in afterlife.

Libby Pleads Guilty
Admits he leaked Plame job info just to impress ANS. Says "It seems so pointless now."

North Korea Offers To Dismantle Nukes
Kim Jong-Il willing if he is allowed to attend wake and kiss corpse good-bye.

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