Sunday, February 22, 2004
EXPULSEZ L'INFAME:
Liberals are gushing all over themselves about the unfolding of the newest reality show, Queer Eye For the Straight Country. This makeover is well under way. The U.S. Extreme Court says sodomy can no longer be restricted to sheepherders, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court insists that the term marriage is a fighting word, and Saint Francis of Assisi is turning over in his grave about the ceremonies enacted by the city which is taking his name in vain. (Or did the founders of that city of Haight know something we didn't about that animal lover?)
Another term for George should suffice to stack the federal bench, and I think Diebold has that well under control, but the Bostcisco subversives will still be pushing their poisonous ideas. One lefty, StoutDemBlog, tried to mock the Good Guys of this Cultural War in "The Newest Member of the Axis of Evil", suggesting that the Great Recaller of Sacramento might actually use National Guard troops to invade San Francisco and restore order, after the Governor's speech emulating the Bush administration's denunciations of "imminent" risk there. What mealy mouthed moderation.
What we need to do, and quickly, before the November election, is to Expel Massachusetts and San Francisco from the Union. I don't mean from AFSCME, I mean from the United States itself. If the liberals want to impose a compulsory makeover on the country, then why can't we? Consider the advantages. Not only will we eliminate two cesspools of radicalism, but we will also change the national political equation. John Kerry wouldn't even be eligible to run for President. Thenceforward Republicans would always win the Presidential elections, with the votes of Kerry's state gone and those of California, now stripped of its corrupting hotbed of leftists, safely back in the GOP camp.
No doubt some will accuse us of hypocrisy, since Republicans won a Civil War on the proposition that no one could secede from the Union. That misunderstands the precedent. Grant's drafted armies only proved that no one can leave by their own choice. It said nothing about whether the rest of us could kick out a state or city.
Any objection that this would require a two-thirds vote can be met with the countercharge that the Democrats themselves established the principle of letting a mere majority vote determine statehood in 1845. Faced with the certain failure to obtain a two-thirds vote to ratify the treaty admitting Texas to the Union, they simply passed a regular bill in Congress. If the Democrats could do this then to help their party, the Republicans (now in control of Texas as well) can reverse this process now by the same vote.
And why stop there? This could also be done to Manhattan, Berkeley, Ann Arbor, Austin, and other similar infestations of liberal ideas. Naturally, these isolated radical bastions would not be capable of defending themselves from the evils of a hostile world. It would be an act of purest kindness for us to protect these childish commune-ities from the enemies they refuse to believe in, by treating them as protectorates, much as we do Puerto Rico today. Face it, Bin Laden on his best day can't do as much harm to America as those magnifiers of The State as opposed to The Corporations. Kick them out, not in hatred, but in sadness, then treat them not as a Big Brother (some hack English novelist seems to have poisoned that term), but as a Big Uncle (TM). It'll be a better world for everyone who matters.
Liberals are gushing all over themselves about the unfolding of the newest reality show, Queer Eye For the Straight Country. This makeover is well under way. The U.S. Extreme Court says sodomy can no longer be restricted to sheepherders, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court insists that the term marriage is a fighting word, and Saint Francis of Assisi is turning over in his grave about the ceremonies enacted by the city which is taking his name in vain. (Or did the founders of that city of Haight know something we didn't about that animal lover?)
Another term for George should suffice to stack the federal bench, and I think Diebold has that well under control, but the Bostcisco subversives will still be pushing their poisonous ideas. One lefty, StoutDemBlog, tried to mock the Good Guys of this Cultural War in "The Newest Member of the Axis of Evil", suggesting that the Great Recaller of Sacramento might actually use National Guard troops to invade San Francisco and restore order, after the Governor's speech emulating the Bush administration's denunciations of "imminent" risk there. What mealy mouthed moderation.
What we need to do, and quickly, before the November election, is to Expel Massachusetts and San Francisco from the Union. I don't mean from AFSCME, I mean from the United States itself. If the liberals want to impose a compulsory makeover on the country, then why can't we? Consider the advantages. Not only will we eliminate two cesspools of radicalism, but we will also change the national political equation. John Kerry wouldn't even be eligible to run for President. Thenceforward Republicans would always win the Presidential elections, with the votes of Kerry's state gone and those of California, now stripped of its corrupting hotbed of leftists, safely back in the GOP camp.
No doubt some will accuse us of hypocrisy, since Republicans won a Civil War on the proposition that no one could secede from the Union. That misunderstands the precedent. Grant's drafted armies only proved that no one can leave by their own choice. It said nothing about whether the rest of us could kick out a state or city.
Any objection that this would require a two-thirds vote can be met with the countercharge that the Democrats themselves established the principle of letting a mere majority vote determine statehood in 1845. Faced with the certain failure to obtain a two-thirds vote to ratify the treaty admitting Texas to the Union, they simply passed a regular bill in Congress. If the Democrats could do this then to help their party, the Republicans (now in control of Texas as well) can reverse this process now by the same vote.
And why stop there? This could also be done to Manhattan, Berkeley, Ann Arbor, Austin, and other similar infestations of liberal ideas. Naturally, these isolated radical bastions would not be capable of defending themselves from the evils of a hostile world. It would be an act of purest kindness for us to protect these childish commune-ities from the enemies they refuse to believe in, by treating them as protectorates, much as we do Puerto Rico today. Face it, Bin Laden on his best day can't do as much harm to America as those magnifiers of The State as opposed to The Corporations. Kick them out, not in hatred, but in sadness, then treat them not as a Big Brother (some hack English novelist seems to have poisoned that term), but as a Big Uncle (TM). It'll be a better world for everyone who matters.
