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Friday, May 21, 2004

ANOINT IN TIME:
"What have you done for the Lord, lately?" asks Jesus' General in pointing to this story:
A woman is accused of pouring boiling oil on her boyfriend's face in an argument over a Bible verse. ... Her 31-year-old boyfriend ... was hospitalized with severe burns on his face, neck and chest. The two were reading the Bible at the boyfriend's apartment May 13 when Morris went to the kitchen to prepare french fries, police said.
Unfortunately, we are not told which verse. Perhaps this is the answer to those of us bothered by liberal claims that the Preoccupation Of Iraq was really driven by oil, considering the ominous Micah 6:7, which reads:
Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
This should be seen in light of the growing number of cases of rape and sexual assault of our women in uniform, as reported in "One Hundred Twelve Women Assaulted in Iraq, Afghanistan". This is your solution, gentles. Keep a pan of oil handy on the stove at all times. If it's hot enough it may even help the personal hygiene of any soldiers with rape on their mind, by stripping off all that public hair that desert parasites could hide in. Our petroleum was put under that pathetic place for a purpose, and now we know what it is.

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