Saturday, May 08, 2004

I thought I had good news to report, but it turned out to be just one more case of a fatuously prevaricating Francophone. A blogging professor named Michael Bérubé announced on Wednesday, in "Wingnuts induce satire crisis", that "liberal and progressive bloggers" were "at a loss to respond" to the statements of "conservative commentators" about the alleged possible torture related program activities at Abu Ghraib. He reported that the speechless leftist satirists felt they were being outdone by such rightists as Limbaugh and Chavez, whose comments (which he quoted from) were cribbing their material.

Well, I should have known better than to trust anyone who writes his name with two acute accent marks, and who on May Day quoted -- in French -- that commie anthem L'internationale. Sure enough, the next day he proved his hopeful story was just a joke itself, by posting a mocking attack on the Christian right in "It's not like it's the Pledge of Allegiance", where he claimed that we don't care about the Iraqi prison incidents because they did not involve exhibitionism, abortionists, gay marriages, or Darwinism. (Well, they didn't, did they?)

He then sneered that he didn't know "of a passage in Leviticus or Deuteronomy according to which it actually pleases the Lord when you stack naked heathen into human pyramids." Of course not. God doesn't toy with unbelievers. When His patience is exhausted, He just orders us to slaughter them, as with the Midianites in Numbers 31:7-18, or does it Himself, as with Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 19:24-28. Both those incidents, this man in the ivory tower should remember, happened in that very same part of the world, as did the attack by bears on forty-two children, cursed by Elisha for mocking his baldness in II Kings 2:23-24.

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