Thursday, May 27, 2004

[For those who've been wondering where I've been this last week:]

Claiming that they have "shamefully bored pundits" with their tentative misconduct of the Presidential contest, blogscourge Ayn Clouter today called for top officials of the John Kerry campaign and the Democratic Party to resign, including DNC Chair Terry McAuliffe and Kerry manager Mary Beth Cahill. In a diatribe to cheering students at Basilides Bible College, she castigated all those "political hacks" for the sleep-inducing lack of fire in their struggle to defeat Bush. She also charged the party's preemptive nominee of "tiptoeing through the tulips of tremulous trepidation", thus making the campaign trail "almost as boring as Al Gore's puerile path to pathological play-it-safe pointlessness", and dramatically increasing the risk that "pro-Bush bloggers may just nod off, instead of pricking The Ketchup Consort to death with premeditated pixelcide."

Ms. Clouter's appearance was jointly sponsored by the Grover Cleveland Student Society for Reclaiming the Democratic Party, and by the GoBack.org PAC. She said that while she welcomed the "dreary, dull, Demo-yawn's" predictable result of lower turnout among the base ("very base", she added) Democratic voters, she resented the lack of blood in the water from the kind of viciousness leftist candidates provoked in earlier years. Her closing rant was "Where is this year's Willie Horton? The donkey brains haven't even spooked us enough to throw sand at them, much less mud pies with sharp rocks inside. Come on, Demo-fools, say something to really anger us. Keep hate alive."

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