Monday, June 28, 2004

For several days The American Street has been stilled, with its bloggers unable to post more of their usual snide attacks upon Our Noble Leader. For some time, they have foolishly allowed me to post there on occasion, just to prove to the world how tolerant of diversity of opinions they are. No doubt they expect I would return the favor if I had my own domain name and web host. Silly idealists.

Today they thought they finally managed to resolve whatever bugs were glitching them up. Little did they know the truth. They need to look South to W's own home base, and, as usual, to the Good Book, in this case in Mark 6:4:
"A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house."
Just this past weekend the Green Party held their own national convention, and chose not to endorse Ralph Nader, instead nominating David Cobb. Most liberals will see that as good news, since it will keep the Crusader against Corvairs off the ballot in many states. To we who hope to see the Preemptive Crusade expanded against the entire Axis of Medieval, that is bad news. We had been contributing to Ralphie to help his efforts, but Cobb promises (more credibly than Nay-sayer did) to only campaign in non-swing states which Bush will either win or lose big-time. This November election might be close enough for a credible left-wing alternative to The Ketchup Consort to throw it to us again -- or at least to let La Familia Scalia to close the deal.

Just last month, the Libertarian Party met and nominated Michael Badnarik for President. His choice is also bad news for the incumbent, since he is likely to split off some right-wing voters disgusted by deficits and foreign crusades -- and, unlike Nadir, he will be on the ballot in virtually every state. Both the Green and Libertarian nominees were surprises. They had one other thing in common: both of them are from Texas.

Why did these unknown challengers emerge from George's own home state this year? I blame Tom Delay. Yes, his redistricting was a brilliant ploy to pick up more seats in Congress, but it stirred such fierce antagonism that it was like first use of nuclear weapons. Sadly, he did not devastate his enemies there quite enough. Not only are those Democratic lame ducks from Texas filing ethics charges against him, I believe they are the ones who secretly encouraged these nobodys from the Lone Star State. Both of them were chosen to do the maximum possible damage to the Republican national ticket in swing states. If I had to guess, I would be most suspicious of redistricted Democrat Martin Frost, who seems to see himself as the would-be Third Coast Phil Burton.

Just days ago my brilliant research uncovered this insidious liberal plot. Naturally I intended to warn those puppets at the Green convention how they were being manipulated, so that they would sever those strings and support Ralph the Trojan Horse instead, giving our plans the greatest possible help. Not knowing any Greens personally, I thought it only fitting to turn the left's "tolerance" against them, by posting this revelation on The American Street, which has a much higher lefty readership than my own site. Unfortunately, I let this plan slip out too soon. The result was a stealthy attack by liberal hackers on The Street's servers, effectively blocking new posts -- and keeping the truth hidden about the attempted Texas revenge on their past Governor, who Left No Surplus Behind for those Democrats to ever spend.

The recidivist big spenders want those tax cuts back so they can give them away to the undeserving poor, and they'll try any trick they can to beat the Bushes this fall. That included blocking The Street over the weekend. Now that they've planted another unwitting Texas stalking horse to block Nader, they've gotten out of the way, and that web site is free to go on with its predictable cat calls against the only President we've got. Well, they won this battle, but it's a long long war through November. I won't let them catch me napping again.

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