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Wednesday, August 11, 2004

SHE'S PROBABLY IN THE ZEN ROOM:

Apparently intimidated by my own parodies of her anti-Bush song parodies, the Mistress of Mock, Mad Kane, has cut and run, fleeing to a new medium: the haiku. She has retreated in defeat from using as her source fine traditional U.S. musical and pop songs. Instead she has adopted a Japanese verse form. This is just following the example of her new hero, that multilingual foreigner-marrying un-American, The Ketchup Consort. Even when she lapses into including a recognizable lyric, it is from some other country. For instance, read her snarking at one speechwriter who will be helping Republicans this fall:
Peg Noonan's on leave.
The GOP's her new boss.
Same as the old boss.
That third line was lifted from what has been described as "the greatest political rock song of all time", but it was not penned under Old Glory, but the Union Jack. Kane is now writing new examples every day, all attacking Our Noble Leader or other good conservatives. This politicization dishonors the Japanese masters of this art by ignoring many established traditions. One is "Each Haiku must contain a kigo, a season word, which indicate in which season the Haiku is set." Most important is "Use only images from nature." That is what they are supposed to be about, not partisan personal pastiches.

Proper haiku about nature, sans human beings, do have appeal to some other leftist scribes, however. Reports are that the tree-hugging author of Earth In The Balance will take this idea and become a guerrilla eco-poet, changing his name to Che Gorevara. Here's his first deep green opus, called "A Tear For Kyoto":
Warmth melts Greenland ice,
Slows Gulf Stream, and chills New York:
Buildings glaciers slice.

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