Sunday, December 12, 2004


The cynical assume that New Yorker Bernie Kerik has withdrawn from being Überkindermädchen of Mutterland Heimland Homeland Security not because of the new nannygate brouhaha, but because he got millions from a company selling stun guns to the agency. Nope, he was torpedoed because he is a close friend of a RINO panting for the Presidency, Rudy The Unready. There's no way some of us would let an ally of that gun-grabbing adulterer get planted where they could help his campaign.

I know the truth because I was the one chosen to fire the warning shot. (Unfortunately, they insisted it be over his head, even though I usually aim for the crotch.) Notice that Kerik is reported to have only discovered on Friday that he had a problem with a lack of employer tax paying related activities. In fact what happened Friday was that I posted here my piece called THE MINIMORPHOSIS. Most people just assumed it was a parody of the Democrats as seen by Kafka. No, all of that well-deserved mockery of the donkeys was just an excuse for the real meat, which was this line: "The family housekeeper, Bernardine Kerik, announced that she had disposed of the corpse."

He deciphered the hint at once, namely that we knew all about his she-nanny-gins and were ready to reveal all, so he should just fall on his own taser. Now the way is clear for a loyalist to take the job instead. While some have flattered me by suggesting I would be the best possible choice to round up all the domestic dissidents left dangling by that dilatory dilettante Ridge, I prefer to remain on the sidelines where I am free to harass heretics like Rudy and Arnold. And no, I have nothing against foreign nannies, having been largely raised myself by one that was probably an illegal alien, since she had no fixed address and only arrived by umbrella when the wind was right.

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