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Monday, June 27, 2005

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION GONE TO SEED:

Yes, the liberals keep bothering us with their burdensome reminders to mention every microscopic group in every field of study, even the most obscure, irrelevant, and defunct. But they change their tune when it comes to ideological diversity. See how they yell over a mere effort to inject alternative theories into education. Well, then, let them face a really serious difference of opinion and see how they'll react. It's all in someone's OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD:
...I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design. Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. ... We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him. ...

Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. ... You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s.
See how moderate we are? We're not asking for injecting weird theories like this one in the schools, just a little redefinition of the way science works. Count your (or, rather, our) blessings, and give in -- or you'll have to deal with even stranger stuff, perhaps also found, like this item, at evil-mongering sites such as The Pagan Prattle.

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