Thursday, June 09, 2005
IT'S ONLY NATURAL:
The leftists who complain about how the evil of money has corrupted the naive primitive innocence of mankind should be trying to cover up the latest report of scientific research from a lab at Our Noble Lame Duck's alma mater. According to a self-proclaimed polytheistic deity at Advice Goddess Blog:
The majority of righteous Americans will instead be pondering whether this research only indicates that the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was not an apple after all, and the possibility that Satan did not slither in, but walked in wearing a lab coat.
The leftists who complain about how the evil of money has corrupted the naive primitive innocence of mankind should be trying to cover up the latest report of scientific research from a lab at Our Noble Lame Duck's alma mater. According to a self-proclaimed polytheistic deity at Advice Goddess Blog:
During the chaos in the monkey cage, Chen ... witnessed was probably the first observed exchange of money for sex in the history of monkeykind. (Further proof that the monkeys truly understood money: the monkey who was paid for sex immediately traded the token in for a grape.) ...So this means that a medium of exchange is so useful that even the beasts resort to it, once someone shows how that works. The evolutionists will no doubt observe that monkeys are not the species they claim to be our nearest relatives. Their next step will likely be to try this with the closer chimpanzees. If they are correct, then those comparative cousins may go even further, opening casinos, setting up stock markets, trying hostile takeovers, and even beginning currency speculation with other zoos. We may have to rewrite Penguin Island with different creatures as characters.
The capuchin lab at Yale has been built and maintained to make the monkeys as comfortable as possible, and especially to allow them to carry on in a natural state. The introduction of money was tricky enough; it wouldn't reflect well on anyone involved if the money turned the lab into a brothel. ...
But these facts remain: When taught to use money, a group of capuchin monkeys responded quite rationally to simple incentives; responded irrationally to risky gambles; failed to save; stole when they could; used money for food and, on occasion, sex.
The majority of righteous Americans will instead be pondering whether this research only indicates that the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was not an apple after all, and the possibility that Satan did not slither in, but walked in wearing a lab coat.
