Wednesday, July 06, 2005


The departure of the gap-truthed swing vote of the Supine Courtiers has left some liberals fuming over the past instead of planning for the future. Julia of Sisyphus Shrugged is still all unforgivingly pre-911 about the amorphous Arizonan. The pseudosymous “Dawn Summers” of Clareified has fired a drive-by shot at one of Sandy’s colleagues. Meanwhile, David Sirota has actually divined Our Noble Lame Duck’s best strategy:

I have a prediction: O’Connor and Chief Justice William Rehnquist will both retire…Karl Rove will have Bush put up one crazy, wild-eyed conservative lunatic in the John Ashcroft mold, and one hard-right winger who seems “moderate” compared to the crazy…the lunatic goes down to defeat, but the hard-right winger gets through, and Bush replaces the lunatic with another hard-right winger as a “compromise.

If just O'Connor retires, it will be much the same strategy - first nominate a wild-eyed lunatic. It's a win-win for Bush - either the lunatic gets appointed, or the lunatic loses, and then Bush puts up someone a shade less crazy - but equally as conservative - as the “compromise.” The media will play along with this storyline, billing the second nominee as “moderate.”

This technique worked well before for both Reagan and Nixon. Look up the fight over Bork, and over Tricky’s rejected nominees.

It would be a shame to waste a perfectly good existing judge as the sacrifical lamb sent out to draw the diversionary fire. Instead, let’s toss up a name from blogtopia (yes! skippy coined that word!). While there are some obvious candidates teaching at Tennessee and UCLA, both of those web wonders are frankly too devoted to civil liberties to become reliable tools of America’s Team if confirmed, or to scare the Senate liberals sufficiently to lure them into torpedoing the Coddling Compromise on filibusters. It’s not even worth talking about the open lefties, whether from red states or from blue ones.

I therefore am volunteering to be the burnt offering myself. Yes, I am qualified, even though for many years I have not practiced — but then neither had liberal icon William Douglas when he was picked. Never having been a judge or a legislator means I have no record for Teddy’s staffers to take pot-shots at, but my many writings on the web should be enough to draw all the fire the Rovinator could want. Furthermore, I will pull no punches in testimony before the Senate. My goal will be to make even the sacred Wall Street Journal aghast, and the New York Times welcome even Pat Robertson by contrast. The next nominee will then sail through on greased skids of relief. Here are just a few of the provocative positions I will proclaim partiality to:

The White House is promising to consult fully with the Senate before sending up a victim for them. If you agree with my strategy, you now have the chance to contact your Senators and urge them to plead with the President to nominate me. After the fireworks over my hearing die down, he will then be able to propose his real choice, and make this gang of nine Extremely Right once again, as they were before FDR’s court-packing threat intimidated them into appeasing socialism. Call them today!! AC for the SC!!

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