Ayn Clouter's Blog

Why is the administration of Our Noble Lame Duck continuing to dribble away its efforts trying to censor science that Ordinary People Were Not Meant To Know, when they could instead be directing research to proving more politically palatable theories? I've had one such inspiration in reading a quote (from an article in *ugh* The Nation about "Toxic Toys") found by the ever-alert Sister Nancy Beth Eczema at Islezbofascist Awareness Week: Scientists, the new pornographers:

The results showed an apparent correlation between women who had higher phthalate levels in their urine and the fact that their male children, within thirteen months of birth, showed "reduced ano-genital distance (AGD)." That measurement of the distance between the anus and the scrotum is a means of distinguishing between male and female rodents and is a key indicator of testosterone levels. Dr. Gray has been seeing shorter AGDs in rats fed phthalates -- now Dr. Swan was seeing it in humans.

Maybe this explains the growing gayness of America. Could that be a symptom of helpless victims of chemically-sabotaged toys which cause testosterone-deprived boys to desperately, albeit subconsciously, seek to bring their genitals closer to their anals, by *ugh* gay sex? And could the phthalate-infected toys be imports from commie China? Anyone remember Arthur C. Clarke's classic SF story "I Remember Babylon", about how Red Chinese pornography by satellite was going to corrupt us all to our destruction? Maybe they found a more subtle way to do that. Forget about lead paint. That was just a false front they could dispense with to avoid suspicion of their real, hidden, more culturally devastating agenda. It's the toys of gender doom -- more insidious than any scheme of Fu Manchu.

PLEASE MAY I HAVE SOME MORE?:

Once again, the Pyrrhic victory of ideology over poetic sense has been exampled by that Laureatess of the Leftness, Mad Kane herself. Despite my helpful corrective suggestions to her in the past, she continues to write what she believes to be haiku, while ignoring the deeper beauty of the medium. Consider her latest barrage at the only President we have, which she describes as "the real reason George W. Bush vetoed SCHIP". It's at "SCHIP Haiku". Go ahead and read it; I'll wait.

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Okay, back now? See how she gets so involved in trying to condemn The Decisionator's Decidiating that she forgets the other important aspects required for haiku beside just 5-7-5 syllable patterns. Let's remember: these are supposed to be about nature or the seasons.

To help her improve her efforts in the future as far as form, I have prepared three separate examples. Notice that I have even offered an innovation which the original Japanese masters don't display -- at least not in translation -- namely, rhymes. Naturally, as far as content, she may still be hampered by her bleeding-hearted liberal mushiness, but I have adoped a properly non-left attitude of laisser manger le gâteau to the same subject:

Ripe green tobacco
About to be taxed still more
Saved by Bush veto


Xmas with no crutch
Tiny Tim no Marxist slave
Bush saved him from such


Beggars may suffer
Sans their flu shots in winter
We keep our coffer