Wednesday, September 28, 2005


The Solicitor for the Growth on the North Side of the Tree First Encounters His Client
(with apologies to Leigh Hunt).

Katey bussed me on the cheek,
Squeezing 'tween the bars of her cell,
As if unfed this whole week,
Keeping model weight to still sell.
Call me fixer, call me whore,
Say no guiltless one would trust me.
Add this to my legal score:
Katey bussed me.

Sunday, September 25, 2005


Does anyone know the process for reporting a newly discovered species? In the midst of Gulf Gloom, I just received this email ("spelling", "spacing", "capitalization" and "punctuation" NOT corrected), which seems to reveal a hitherto unseen variety of uncomprehending misanthropy. Or is the writer not an instance of ESL classes gone to waste, but a genuine illegal extraterrestrial?
It was by accident that I stumbled onto your blog- and now I can't help but comment .

You seem to be laboring under a few misconceptions.

Are you christian? YOu don't sound like a decent one---you sound more like a devil worshiper to me. And a neo-nazi to boot.

Are you republican? You don't sound like a decent one---republicanism is about being elite-and capitalistic in the elite sense only. Survival of the fittest as long as YOUR the fittest-and-all that. Christianity on the other hand is about community and help-thy-neighbot-and all that carp.

So in a sense a christian-republican is nothing more than an oxymoron.

so your a hitler/devil worshipping christian, and a worried-that they're not elitist-elitist. In other words---a hypocrite.

So you and those money-grubbing, save-the-world LIBERAL hypocrites----have A LOT IN COMMON.
That supposed Sultan of Snark, TBogg, has this notice on his sidebar:
Your e-mail may be reprinted sans name and e-mail address. Think about how stupid you want to appear.
That is just typical liberal wimpishness. I, on the other hand, have no mercy at all. Thank you, wenzy@wapda.com, for brightening my day with a classic of cluelessness.

Saturday, September 10, 2005


How the mighty have fallen. MyDD reports
Two years ago, Instapundit had an audience three times larger than Dailykos. Now, Dailykos is the equal of nearly the entire conservative blogosphere, and five other progressive blogs, Talking Points Memo, Eschaton, Crooks and Liars and AmericaBlog, all have audiences larger than Instapundit, which remains the largest conservative blog in terms of audience size.
Well, if the parade is turning to the left, does the pursuit of page views explain why the Professor of Hehology has been playing up his previous work with the ACLU, or linking to a report on a libertarian web site of a tale originally reported on a socialist web site, about suburban police blocking New Orleans refugees (sorry, that's not politically correct now, so how about calling them the "permanent residence-challenged"?) from fleeing the city. He even raise the spectre of (gasp!) racism in the local law enforcement response. Is Glenndeed trying to reach out to more readers from the port side of the internet? Say it ain't so, Insty! Will he next reach out to outright conspiracy web sites, with tales of FEMA shelters as detention camps?


No, it's not because they have consistently refused to support my right to own private nuclear weapons. (If they're okay for North Korea, why not for me?) No, it's not because they still decline to make their first priority a crusade against the oppressive federal tax levied on my simple right to defend myself against loud neighbors by owning machine guns.

The real reason is because they are such mealy-mouthed wimps on the only thing they claim to be good for, namely fighting against the confiscation of my ordinary everyday household pistols and rifles. Here's the Quisling equivocation they put up on their site Friday:
Numerous media sources are reporting on a campaign by New Orleans city authorities to confiscate lawfully-owned firearms from people in the city. ...

Of course, the entire situation in New Orleans is constantly in flux. But rest assured NRA is monitoring this situation very closely and will address any activity by the government that unduly infringes upon the rights of lawful gun owners at the appropriate time. As we learn more, we will report to our members accordingly.
What more do they need to learn? Already disarmed victims of the Statist Inquisition are being fitted with plastic handcuffs and frog-marched away at gunpoint.

The best model for how Americans should act if we don't want to submit to the minions of our domestic King George the Third comes from the words of Patrick Henry, when Americans were under assault by the last ruler we had by that name:
Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace – but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!
The quivering cowards at the NRA, absent under fire, can just keep their heads up their rectums. That will make it easier for us to kick them out of the way.

Friday, September 09, 2005


Katrina and its aftermath overwhelmed me. Searching for a literary framework to hang my own feelings upon, I recalled a beautiful and terrifying poem by Archibald MacLeish, "Epistle To Be Left In The Earth". That Pulitzer Prize winner also penned a very timely quote: “We are deluged with facts but we have lost or are losing our human ability to feel them.”

I was born in this disaster area. In the neighborhood where I learned to walk, ninety per cent of the homes have been wiped out. Victor Hugo wrote in L'Homme qui rit a tragedy of someone whose face was carved into a permanent grin, who appeared to be laughing whenever he spoke. My previous work perhaps places me in a similar position. Please ignore the author and consider this piece on its own merits, with all the seriousness intended.

Epistle To Be Left In The Big Easy

... It's quit raining now
                                     there are many snakes
                                                                         we are under
FEMA's martial law
                              the eaves are dripping
The water all smells like the sewer drains
                                                                  and skyward
Red flames black fumes
                                     vultures fly
Low seeking carrion
                                 the cats are stranded.
Rats full from corpses now turn on our pets.
We all assume that this city is dead;
Penless ones carved their initials on rafters.
Who knows if we will be rebuilt or bulldozed;
Who knows if Katrina killed NOLA for good.

We hush so the troops will not find our attic.
I ask you
               please (if free speech still somewhere survives)
Post print and broadcast that life once thrived here.
Remember joyous jazz we played
                                                      remember our gourmet chefs.
To make them blue
                               you flatten third or seventh notes.
Brown flour when you need roux
                                                     don't stare at
Crewes with hoods on
                                     men wearing stars are police.
They cannot hear our voice
                                             and their masters
The pols cannot save nor D. C. bureaucrats preserve us.
The press too is all clueless
                                            do not trust them.
Do not listen to the radio talk shows.
Like fools we thought them wise men
                                                             they spew hot air.
They spin not truth or fact but hurl invective.
No one here still trusts any boss.
(... We believed before
that victory in the hard contest of elections
ennobled one man yet he failed to appear.)
And the soldiers -- hide from them, their orders are to shoot;
Men are hauled away to intern camps.
Nothing is dry
                       copters survey our moated homes.
Magnates plan raising many tall cranes to the sky.

Saturday, September 03, 2005


Mustang Bobby at Bark Bark Woof Woof spotted this theological dissonance:
Two Christian leaders in New Orleans are testifying to God's mercy in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. One suggests that the death toll could have been much higher had it not been for God's mercy -- and the other that God may have used the hurricane to purge wickedness from the city.
This could be looked on as evidence that monotheism is mistaken, since these two men could not possibly be worshipping the same deity, or it just might mean that at least one of them is very badly misled about just what he is praying to.

Meanwhile, I expect the adamant secularists like Pharyngula to weigh in any moment with the argument that Katrina disproves any intelligent designer, since no thoughtful entity would have allowed such disasters. Personally, I figure if a world-builder could be fond of fjords (or of beetles, as another biologist said), then why not an abiding appreciation of giant tropical storm patterns? Sorry about those drenched primates, but in heaven there are no cooling breezes either.


Frustrated without The Clenis still in power to feel their pain, the appropriately named (for a post about the Big Easy) oyster of Your Right Hand Thief, who An old soul reports was one of the fortunate ones able to flee with their family from the deluge and chaos, vents in Blaming the Victims:
I mean, jeezm, what's next? Will Grace Slick advise us that cities built on rock'n roll are less flood-prone than ones built on jazz?!
Well, let's see, her greatest hit (back before her second group achieved escape velocity and changed their name) was probably this one, so perhaps we should expect something like this:
Somebody To Blame

When promised busses
never come,
And the toilets
all fill with scum,
Don't you want somebody to blame?
Don't you need somebody to blame?
Wouldn't you love somebody to blame?
You better find somebody to blame.

When city maps no longer
show the shores,
And diabetics start to
loot drug stores,
Won't you point at pols that you blame?
Cast a vote 'gainst pols that you blame?
Find a scapegoat to take all the blame?
Tar and feather somebody to blame.

Copters finally lift
you from your roof,
But the warnings never moved you
and you just can't face the truth;
You who stayed need others to blame.
The dismayed want someone to blame.
The waders cry for someone to blame.
So pass the buck to someone to blame.

Tears are filling
up your streets to meters deep.
Lefties claim that it's
'cause the Prez was too cheap.
No one there deserves any blame.
Not one local earned any blame.
Look up above for someone to blame,
And when he flies by give him the blame.

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