Sunday, February 27, 2005


One of the more mealy-mouthed moderate males, troll-baiting comments to shore up his declining demographic, has reiterated his periodic pedestal placing of web women, disingenuously declaiming distaffers are too delicate for the demands of political blogging:
... the blogosphere, which ought to be an ideal training ground for finding new voices in nontraditional places, is far more vitriolic than any op-ed page in the country, even the Wall Street Journal's, and therefore probably turns off women far more than it attracts them.
When this fatuous flea-bite provoked the flailing tail-swats he masochistically fantasized about, he further fanned the flames:
... the reason I suggested that women are turned off by the "fundamental viciousness" of blogging and opinion writing is because many women have told me this (and have told me the same thing in non-blogging contexts as well). Men are so routinely dismissive of women and so fundamentally dedicated to playground dominance games that many women decide they just don't want to play.
Thanks, but I'll pass on such pacifying pats on the posterior from Kevie. To me this apologetic appeasement of angry Amazons only indicates that he has unnecessary appendages, and I prescribe a radical and total bris, all the way back to the torso. I'm not a certified mohelet, but on childhood visits to my grandmother's farm I did get to castrate a bull calf, so I'll be happy to relieve the white wine and quiche eater of those unused protuberances. If he's too unaccountably shy to submit to surgery by a female, he can hire someone who has first built up his Dutch courage.

However wimpy his sycophantic squeals since his silly sparking of this sororal slaughterfest, I have to point out one source which seems to strip support from his stance. Buried on the back pages of small town Red state journalism, I read that one unlamented former Congressthing, Dick Armey, says women can be far more venomous than men. Speaking for completely getting rid of Social Security [sic] in Longview, Texas, he commented on another part of Our Noble Lame Duck's outreach agenda:
Armey also said Republican ambitions to add amendments banning flag burning and gay marriage to the U.S. Constitution are unlikely to be fulfilled. He said organizations that backed the Equal Rights Amendment, a failed proposal to make it unconstitutional to pay women less for the same work [very sic], were well-organized and politically powerful.

"Sponsors of the ERA were the meanest people I've seen in Congress, and they were unable to do it," he said. "So I don't take amending the Constitution very seriously, quite frankly. It's a big job. It's not likely to happen."
Since that particular meme for comment-whoring has run its course with the close of Estrogen Week, the penile portion of the punditsphere has proposed an even more puerile paradigm, that "Women aren't as funny as men." This idiocy was endorsed by a former philosophy student whose pretentious ponderings were so pointless, suggesting that the first JFK had reversed the benefits of "a Yale degree and a Harvard education", that he was quickly co-opted by beltway blatherers to publish pusillanimousness for pay. Yet, once again, ongoing events provide ammunition for his argument. I confess that, at my most amusing, I could never have devised any comedy as hilarious as this production of a male politician in Maine:
Rep. Brian Duprey (R-Hampden) has submitted a bill to the State Legislature to shield potentially homosexual fetuses from discrimination. LD 908, "An Act to Protect Homosexuals from Discrimination," attempts to protect homosexuals from death because they might carry the gene that could lead to homosexuality.

This bill as drafted would make it a crime to abort an unborn child if that child is determined to be carrying the "homosexual gene." Duprey said that no such genetic marker has yet been discovered. But considering rapid advancements in genetic mapping research, he wants legislation in place should such a breakthrough occur. "If the homosexual gene is ever determined to exist," he said, "I want to ensure that a woman could not abort an unborn child simply because that child is determined to be carrying this gene."

Duprey received the idea for this bill when listening to the Rush Limbaugh radio show. "I heard Rush saying that the day the 'gay gene' is determined to be real, that overnight gays would become pro-life," Duprey said.

"Most people would agree that to kill someone just because that person might be gay would constitute a hate crime," said Duprey. "I have heard from women who told me that if they found out that they were carrying a child with the gay gene, then they would abort. I think this is wrong. Those unborn children should be protected."
Perhaps the closest I've seen to this breathtakingly risible proposal was the idea advocated many years ago by a candidate for the Libertarian Presidential nomination, who promised to mobilize pro-gun and anti-abortion voters by supporting handguns for fetuses. But he was cluelessly male, too, so that won't help demonstrate to Mattie the fallacy of his collectivist calumny.

Friday, February 25, 2005


"It's not the sex, it's the pseudonym," say the protesting-too-much sore losers who want no one in the White House newsroom except sadistic scab-pickers. Liberal anger at Guckert a.k.a. Gannon sounds like just the latest outburst of their antipathy to free enterprise, since he was actually making a profit at something they prefer to think of as so worthless that it should only be given away for free. But if we consider their absurd premise that a known nom de plume for web writing compromises media "integrity", then they should drop their claims of hypocrisy against conservatives, because no factions come to the court of internet equity with clean hands.

Jim (or Jeff) only changed his name, but one blogger actually changed his sex on the web. On December 29 a new blog appeared called "Libertarian Girl", supposedly by a young woman in D.C. Just like Jeff (or Jim), he has now stopped posting at his old site, after his own turned on him and uncovered his secret identity. Perhaps they became suspicious because "her" confused postings were a parody of their dogmas, like this heretical rant:
Breast augmentation surgery is a negative sum game. The surgery increases the recipient's attractiveness (because men are so stupid), but only at the expense of other women whose natural breasts become less attractive in comparison to the increasing population of surgically augmented women. ...

The typical liberal response might be the desire to make the surgery illegal. But I disagree. If a woman wants the surgery badly enough, she should be allowed to obtain it, but only if she pays back the externality she causes. So I call for the implementation of a breast implant tax.
His real mistake was posting a picture. On February 13, "Catallarchy" blew the whistle:
Ever since she began blogging, people accused Libertarian Girl of being a fraud. Her critics claimed that a libertarian blog run by a young, attractive female is too good to be true, and that the author is probably just a guy desperate for attention.

... something is beginning to smell fishy. Wazoo turned my attention to this personal ad on a mail-order bride website, containing a photo of “Viktoriya,” who shares a striking resemblance to Libertarian Girl.
Comparing the pictures leaves no doubt of the fraud. The "Girl" threw in the towel and confessed:
Well I may be an unemployed man without a wife or girlfriend still living with my parents despite being over the age of 30, but at least I’m not so stupid as to think that a gorgeous young girl would be the author of a popular libertarian blog. She’d be too busy having fun. ... You guys are so gullible! ...

It’s funny how there have been some posts in the blogosphere saying that the political blogosphere was a boys club that discriminated against women, as evidenced by how few politics bloggers were women. Boy were they completely off the mark. It’s ten times easier for a woman’s blog to become popular. ...

I should have figured that the type of people who read libertarian blogs are the same type that read Russian brides websites. When I make my next hoax blog, I’ll make sure to use a more obscure photo.
There are even more dark secrets among the group most likely to denounce Jim (or Jeff) for his hidden background, namely liberals. Since turnabout is fair play, here are just a few of them:

Jeanne D'Orleans, blogger of Body and Soul, adopted her pixelnym so that people would think of a French martyr, the "Maid of Orleans" that is usually known as Jeanne D'Arc. The truth: she is really from a different French city, which she had to disguise to avoid stirring aging members of the World War II resistance to belated vengeance from their rest homes. Yes, her real name is Jeanne D'Vichy, most noted not as the source of overpriced water, but as the home of the collaborationist front government during the early years of Nazi occupation.

Hesiod, formerly proprietor of Counterspin, now sometimes guesting at The American Street, stopped his regular blogging because he feared an embarrassing fact would come out. He does not really share the name of that ancient Greek poet. The truth: he is named after a different ancient Greek poet. He called himself Hesiod instead because he believed that if he used his real name, readers would think first, not of the author of the epic poems, but of the head of the household on The Simpsons.

Billmon of Whiskey Bar actually went into hiding for a time, and has only re-emerged recently because he thinks he'll be safe, since the Swipe Bashers are now distracted by the larger target of the AARP. The truth: his whole blogdentity (no! skippy didn't coin that word!) is a cover for a fugitive from justice. He called the site "whiskey" to avoid reminding people of the drug he is most remembered for, and himself "Billmon" instead of what he was usually addressed as, "Bob mon". Years ago he had to fake his death after a foolish stoned admission that he had killed a member of law enforcement. That's right, he's really the "late" Bob Marley.

speaking of skippy the bush kangaroo himself, which must only be done in lower case, no, he is not really the reincarnation of e. e. cummings. nor is his aversion to capital letters the result of an allergy to ink which causes him to use as little of it as possible. the truth: even though he is one of the few creatures other than a primate that has a kind of opposable thumb, a quick visit to a zoo will show you that its fingers still aren't placed right for using the shift keys. he adopted the more intimidating image of a kangaroo to hide his real, laughably harmless species. the recent "postponement" of filming for the latest movie project of russell crowe and nicole kidman wasn't really "to allow further work on the script". the producers were simply unable to find enough eucalyptus to photograph because skippy used his ill-gotten gains from anonymous blogging to buy up the entire year's supply of leaves from that plant for his own diet. yes, skippy the bush kangaroo is really shimmy the bush koala.

The so-called "Mad Kane" has been misleading readers by teasing them with part of the truth. Fans of her political parodies readily believe those could have been written by a person who was both a lawyer and a symphony musician. The truth: she is even more multitalented than they realize. She currently works as a psychiatrist at an institution for the criminally liberal, and it is her unknowing leftist patients who have really been writing, as "therapy", all those lyrics and poems she claims as her own in a scheme of plagiarism so blatant that it might possibly even embarrass the New York Times.

A different sort of misrepresentation is practiced by Echidne Of The Snakes, who claims to be "a minor Greek goddess". The truth: she is no divinity at all. The first clue is her note posting her email address. As that theologically astute John Updike established in his classic 1960 New Yorker piece about Ted Williams' last game, "Gods do not answer letters." Once you get past her carefully planned misspelling of her name, you find in lines 295 to 332 of the real Hesiod that Echidna (no! not the egg-laying creature from skippy's homeland) is really a part-woman, part-serpent noted as the mother of several monsters: the Chimera, Cerberus (no! not the aardvark), Hydra (no! not the foe of S.H.I.E.L.D.), and Orthus the dog, whom she also mated with to produce the Sphinx and the Nemean Lion. If known, this salacious history of both bestiality and incest might get a lot of blog readers. It certainly explains her real motive in blogging: to oppose Senator Santorum.

Those examples should be enough to make my point, without getting into other instances simply too amazing to believe. But the leftist critics of entreprenueral bloggers should take care, because we know the frightening truth. If Jeff's (or Jim's) most determined exposer persists in her crusade, we may have to reveal the DNA results, forcing everyone to wonder about those 36 pairs of chromosomes.

Thursday, February 24, 2005


This example of mind-boggling cluelessness was spotted at the New York Times' typically very long Corrections column for February 24 by The Minor Fall, The Major Lift:
The caption on Feb. 14 for a picture by Reuters with the continuation of an article about the Iraqi elections misstated the reason Abdul Aziz al-Hakim, a Shiite cleric, was weeping. He was participating in a mourning ritual as part of Ashura, a holy Shiite festival - not reacting to results showing that his political alliance had won a slim majority of seats. A second caption for a Reuters photo misstated the reason a Shiite was shown flagellating himself in a Baghdad procession. He was taking part in the same mourning ritual, not celebrating the election outcome.

Two small boys and two girls were married off to four puppies by tribal villagers in the small northern Indian state of Jharkhand to ward off evil. ...

Neighbours and relatives of the four children danced to music performed by the band before the marriages were solemnised with puppies of the opposite sex, the report said.
What a relief. These may be interspecies marriages, but at least they aren't interspecies gay marriages.

Sunday, February 20, 2005


As noted elsewhere, Kevin Drum has stirred up the usual hornet's nest about under-representation of femmes pixelle on the web. This tempest in a herbal tea pot is missing the really big picture far above the heads of all these busybloggers.

Over at WorldNetDaily they've posted an article quoting "geopolitical expert Jack Wheeler" that "Vice President Dick Cheney likely will step down next year due to health reasons and be replaced by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice". He claims this rumor has been whispered "to most congressional committee chairmen." They also put up a poll asking "What do you think of Condi Rice replacing Cheney as vice president midterm?" At this moment the leading answer, with 41.64%, is "It's a brilliant plan for Republican victory". Likewise, she is currently leading in the poll on my own blog sidebar, getting 46% as the answer to "Who should the Party Of Virtue nominate for President in 2008 to run against She Who Must Not Be Named?" That nameless one is also leading in all the polls of Democrats for their first choice next time.

All these signs indicate that those bothersome "Y" chromosomes are finally going out of political fashion. By the time Mrs. The Clenis has paved the way for her own planned victory parade, with her recent cozying up to abortion opponents and advocates of long Iraqi occupation, she'll find that The Rovinator has already upped the ante with a female incumbent Veep of the colored persuasion. Looks like The Carpetbaggeress missed her political period, and she'll just watch her very base voters slipping away. There will be a new role model on the news to inspire lots of female political bloggers; it just won't be a Democrat.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Now can't you see to look at me
That I'm a natural Camille
As Camille I just feel, I have so much to offer
(Hey listen kid I know I'd be divine because ...)
I'm a natural cougher [coughing sounds]
--"I'm The Greatest Star", Funny Girl
Lamenting a mournful day for the leftist intelligentsia everywhere, Ionarts ("Something other than politics in Washington, D.C.") reports on the recent interment of a willing expatriate:
In accordance with her final wishes, Susan Sontag was buried in Paris ... in the Cimetière de Montparnasse, where Baudelaire, Beckett, and Sartre (among many others) are also buried. ... Actresses Isabelle Huppert and Fiona Shaw read poems by Rimbaud, Beckett, and Baudelaire, and the Debussy flute solo Syrinx was played over the grave. ... Here is a photograph of Salman Rushdie placing a flower on Sontag's grave....
She was, of course, one of those who defended this blasphemer when The Ayatollah Of Peace issued a death threat that sent him into hiding. Those attending this ceremony, including Annie Leibovitz and the otherwise-forgotten Patti Smith, provoked El País to remark:
Los Estados Unidos de Bush quedan lejos, muy lejos.
Not very far away at all were the graves of more of the usual suspects Sontag was no doubt happy to lie near, including Pierre-Joseph Proudhon ("La propriété c'est le vol"), Tristan Tzara ("initiateur du mouvement dada"), Alfred Dreyfus ("accusé d'espionnage"), and Simone de Beauvoir (Le Deuxième Sexe). Just across this tomby town are buried still more of her late fellow travellers, including Charles Fourier ("théoricien socialiste"), Nijinski (danseur lavande), Emile Zola ("J'Accuse!"), and one forgotten woman who inspired writers long after her death:
Alexandre Dumas fils was abroad at the time of Marie Duplessis's fatal illness in February 1847 and, unlike his fictional alter-ego Armand Duval (and Armand's operatic counterpart, Alfredo Germont), did not return in time for a final deathbed reconciliation. He was, however, present ... when her corpse was later exhumed from its original grave to be reburied .... In his novel, Dumas made this ghastly scene both the prelude and the climax of his story.
The scene is even more Gothic than you might think from this excerpt:
Alors un des deux hommes étendit la main, se mit à découdre le linceul, et le prenant par le bout, découvrit brusquement le visage de Marguerite. ...

Les longs cheveux noirs et secs étaient collés sur les tempes et voilaient un peu les cavités vertes des joues, et cependant je reconnaissais dans ce visage le visage blanc, rose et joyeux que j'avais vu si souvent.

Armand, sans pouvoir détourner son regard de cette figure, avait porté son mouchoir à sa bouche et le mordait.
For some reason, they don't include this in the play, opera, or movie versions. The closest I've seen is the maddened Daredevil's digging up Electra's corpse in his comic book. Electra, like Sherlock Holmes, was later brought back to life for lucrative sequels. Poor Marie Duplessis was also reused under different names for many media. Dumas called her Marguerite Gautier in his book and his play, La Dame aux camélias, which for no good reason was renamed "Camille" in English, and Giuseppe Verdi changed her to Violetta Valery in his opera, La Traviata. The consumptive courtesan is about to be virtually unearthed again, this time with not only a name change but a sex change as well. Seeking one more chance to Blame The Republicans First, some evil souls are now proposing a revised and politicized version of that opera, set in our own capital with timely characters.

La Triviata (a synopsis)

Act I - A salon in Jacquot’s house.
Jacquot Bouledogue, a gay internet escort, is throwing a party at his home. A late arrival, Sullieman, brings with him a friend, a Texan wearing a Stetson and chaps (and nothing else). This is Scottie McGomery, the deputy White House press secretary, who has longed to meet Jacquot and declares love for him. To prove his devotion, he says that he can get Jacquot admitted to news conferences as an online reporter without a background check, if Jacquot will ask leading softball questions to help the administration. All he'll have to do is use a pixelnym, which he suggests: Geoffrey Garçon. Jacquot gives him a violet, telling him to return when the flower has wilted. Sullieman sulks jealously. The best song in this act is almost unchanged from the original opera, Scottie's profession of love: "Di quell'amor ch'é palpito" ("In that throbbing love").

Act II -
Scene 1 – A salon in Jacquot's house; several months later.
Scottie and Jacquot are now happily living together. Scottie has now been promoted to press secretary himself, and "Geoffrey Garçon" is tossing him easy questions based on GOP talking points. One day when Scottie leaves for work, Jacquot is visited by Scottie's mommy, Caroline Ketone S'égarercorne. She reminds him how much Scottie loves her, and says she has worked for years to get herself in a position to run for Governor of their home state, even divorcing Scottie's father when he planned to embarrass the establishment there. Now she is State Controller, and Jacquot's visible relationship with her son could hurt her, so she begs him to leave the press corps, break it off with Scottie, and say he doesn't love him any more. To help his lover's mother, Jacquot agrees. When Scottie comes home, Jacquot provokes a big fight, telling him that he could never really love a fighting keyboarder instead of a real military stud. Scottie storms out in a rage, swearing revenge.

Scene 2 – The White House Press Room.
There are two songs here by groups of reporters. In an effort to reach a broader audience, the original's "Noi siamo zingarelle" ("We are gipsy girls") has been replaced with "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves", and for the bull-fighters' number was substituted a modern version of Lerner and Loewe's "I Remember It Well".
(Sample stanza:)

Saddam had bombs
     We found not one
And nerve gas too
     No, there was none
Ah oui! I remember it well
The reporters then mill around, talking about how "Geoffrey" has resigned as a reporter. Sullieman slinks up to an anti-Bush reporter and urges him to ask Scottie how "Geoffrey" got daily passes by skipping the usual security clearances. Here the reporter gets to do a gender variant of Violetta's song from the original, "Questa donna conoscete?" ("Do you know this woman?"). Scottie blandly denies knowing anything about the bypass, or being familiar with the reporter at all. Sullieman smirks in the background. On a small side platform we see Jacquot watching this at home on TV, and bursting into hysterical sobs.

Act III – Jacquot's bedroom; several more months later.
Jacquot is now dying of AIDS, picked up in a desperate orgy trying to forget Scottie. Caroline, now the Governor of Texas, has finally told all to Scottie, who arrives, dressed in hat and chaps again, and carrying a fresh bouquet of violets, just in time to have Jacquot die in his arms. Of course, since this is a sort of opera, however twisted, before his last breath they sing several duets together, including "The Man I Love", "Someone To Watch Over Me", and a final cover of "Over The Rainbow" as Jacquot expires washed in a spectrum of spotlights. Scottie promises to fulfill his last wish, and bury him in the same Paris cemetery as Marie Duplessis, as close as possible to the monument there for the Egyptian-French singer Dalida.

Thursday, February 17, 2005


To liberals, it's always about the oil. That's why they say Our Noble Lame Duck reattacked Iraq, using the virtual WMDs as a mere excuse. That's why they say he has been editing the election outcome there, so that the Iranophile party didn't get an outright majority, and retroactively revised results in Texas (with redistricting), California (with recall), and Venezuela (with the same technique, which failed there because of sissyfied exit polls). This just shows that the left doesn't know how to dig deeply enough to find the truth.

Iraq was really about U.S. domestic politics, and California and Texas were really about electricity profits. Caracas, however, is still held up as an example of petro-politics. Not true. Now Chavez has shown his true colorado, striking at the very shock troops of American globalism. George tried to protect us from this, but he was distracted by liberal carping over the Middle East. Helpless cholesterol-deprived victims of this South American tyranny will now be drooling pathetically for their denied daily delights. From Forbes:
Venezuela's tax agency ordered the three-day closing of all 80 McDonald's restaurants in the country as a penalty for failing to follow tax rules, the state news agency reported. ...

The closing apparently took effect immediately and was to last through the weekend. McDonald's employees were seen standing about and sweeping the walkway outside one closed restaurant in Caracas.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


Erik at Fear of Clowns leads into a hopelessly Francophile post by saying
When I first heard the big news about N. Korea's big bombs, I wanted to make a post, "So it appears we invaded the only member of the Axis of Evil which was not developing nuclear weapons," but went to find out how to say "Axis of Evil" in French and never got around to making the post.
Lefties always want it both ways, warning against Gulf Preemption II because lots of our soldiers would be killed by Saddam's awful power, then saying there was no need to invade when that proved to be imaginary. Let me explain why we did this with an analogy from your own neighborhood.

There are three bad guys on your block. All of them hate you and would jump at the chance to kill you if they could get away with it. All are deterred by your well-armed and well-armored person, fortress home, and heavily-plated SUV. You fear they might all gang up on you anytime. You figure your best hope is to pick them off individually before that happens. For legal cover, you'll have to provoke one of them into some act to justify taking them out in self-defense.

One keeps blasting out loud military music all day in some far eastern language, and has put up a huge poster of his face on his front door. He has been spotted in parking lots, standing over an open car trunk, talking with a known illegal weapons dealer. Finally, he has encircled his house with sand bags and concrete walls, which have slots for firing, and suspicious metal tubes poking out.

Another one also uses loudspeakers to disturb the neighbors, blaring out loud prayers five times a day in some other strange tongue. He's posted wanted posters for obscure authors on utility poles nearby. You've seen him getting deliveries of big bags of saltpetre, charcoal, and sulphur. Several nights you've heard sounds of explosions, like giant firecrackers, coming from his garage.

Finally, there's the guy under house arrest with an ankle bracelet that keeps him from leaving. The ATF keeps searching his house and reporting that he doesn't have any weapons. His probation officer lives across the street and won't let anyone make any deliveries to him except just enough carefully searched bags of groceries to barely keep him alive, if anorexic.

Now, which one should you start a fight with first? The answer is obvious. To bring it back to the real world, of course you should first invade the one that you know doesn't have WMDs. Any other course wouldn't be prudent.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


At the top of the column at the right (of course) is my latest attempt to peruse the pulse of the public. If one of the RINOs wins, that will tell us who we need to paint a target on before the primaries begin.


Mary Ratcliff is trying to paint Republicans as ethically equivalent to ethnic cleansers in a post about Hotel Rwanda. She cites as an example Grover Norquist's comparison of Democrats to pets that are happy and sedate once they've been fixed -- that is, resigned themselves to their minority status. This is typical liberal alarmism. Systematic slaughter and carefully calculated castration are not the same thing. Grover's quote actually implies that he wants to keep Democrats around, once they've been relieved of the instinctual need to mark their territory. Lefties are just fine in their place, like formerly wild beasts shying away from the metaphorical bars of their virtual cage.

Personally, I object to the Norquistator's mealy-mouthed moderation. He doesn't even have the courage of his convictions about the trivial technique of animal husbandry he advocates. Follow the links. Mary got his quote from Bull Moose, who got it from the Washington Post's "Reliable Source" column, which included more from the misuser of bathtubs:
Norquist assured us that he meant neutered "psychologically" and his metaphor was "facetious." Of course: Let the healing begin.
See how he backs away from his own reasonable idea, from fear of looking "polarizing". What a wimp. Electricity won't flow without a difference in charges, and the same applies to any other kind of power. If you want to move something with as much inertia as a national electorate, you need to polarize with both hands. Why limit the operation to mental indoctrination? Actual surgery has been proven to work with cattle for centuries, and this could provide a new source, free of Mad Cow Disease, of a delicacy for restaurants.

Monday, February 14, 2005


The most unintentionally hilarious review I've read in years, found linked from Enigmatic Mermaid at the Amazon listing of a children's book by Jeanette Winterson (already an astonishing concept):
But on political and social issues, she is quite conventional, spreading the same anti-capitalistic, pro-socialism, anti-American bromides that one hears everywhere.

My ideal writer would have the poetry of Jeanette Winterson, but the rational, radical philosophy of Ayn Rand.
Engineers gave up long ago on trying to put square pegs into round holes; only dabblers in the humanities still believe it possible.

Sunday, February 13, 2005


I've written before about how Mad Kane's constant carping at Our Noble Lame Duck has damaged her brain, forcing her to decline from using pop classic songs as models for her parodies, to much simpler folk songs, and then finally to still easier haiku. The deterioration seems to have continued. Now it looks like she is giving up poetry altogether and applying for another job:
...I assumed you had to be an actual journalist. Now that I know otherwise, please consider this my application for White House press credentials. ... I've never been to journalist school, but would be happy to spend a weekend there, if required.
In celebration of her impending departure from the ranks of liberal snipers at the administration, I've decided to post here one more example of the work of another leftist who has abandoned the fight, that guerrilla eco-poet from Tennessee and former candidate, Che Gorevara. He's still doing his Nipponese numbers, in the traditional seventeen syllables about nature:
The Spectre Of Pyongyang:

Red rose petals blow;
Bright contrast on sudden snow.
Nuclear winter.

Friday, February 11, 2005


Trust the French to make a Parthian shot. Though they claim the Iraq War-inspired antipathy to them in this country is fading (see Pascal Riché's "L'Amérique moins frenchie-phobe"), they still resent being bashed by our media, especially in the movies:
Hollywood choisit des Français pour incarner les méchants prétentieux (les Indestructibles, Ocean Twelve).
With the announcement of Academy Award nominees, the bloggers at A l'heure américaine have decided to seek revenge against a well-known Republican, Clint Eastwood, by uncovering the surprise ending of his newest movie about a woman boxer. They cleverly tried to protect themselves by putting up a hypocritical notice:
This is a useless warning since it does not even appear on their permalinked post, and is also in French, thus being meaningless to most Americans. However, even the monolingual should be able to comprehend the meaning of
A la fin, Hillary Swank, paralysée après un mauvais coup dans un combat, demande à Eastwood de débrancher sa machine respiratoire.
No doubt Fabrice Rousselot would claim as the excuse for this spoiler that he is just being helpful in defending Eastwood against those awful right-wingers:
Dès lors, plusieurs groupes conservateurs et des commentateurs comme l'innénarable Rush Limbaugh attaquent Eastwood en lui reprochant de ne pas "promouvoir la culture de la vie" et de "prôner le fait qu'on se débarrasse des handicapés".
These crocodile tears for poor Clint, because his Oscar chances may be hurt by theocratic opposition to his movie as not pro-life, shouldn't fool anyone. Let me reveal the real truth. This goes beyond getting shut out of contracts in Iraq. The real reason the French hate us is not for our freedom fries, but because they lost their manhood to us years ago. Literally. When their last victorious general died in custody on Saint Helena, surgeons removed various parts of his anatomy. In 1977, an American doctor spent $3000 to buy Napoleon's penis. It is now described as "one inch long and resembling a grape." Such a small thing to provoke their envy and petty vengeance against the supporters of Our Noble Lame Duck.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

ECON 101:
Some genius in the State Department has decided that the way to catch bin Laden is to double the bounty on him from $25 million to whatever twice that is, a figure rivaling the cost of Bush’s second inauguration. ... Better to lower the bounty and create a seller’s panic. I mean, if you owned a stock that suddenly dropped 50%, wouldn’t you consider cashing in?
Read it HERE. (Found at World O'Crap.)
Don Corleone entered the negotiations personally. He offered Les Halley twenty thousand dollars to release Johnny Fontane from the personal services contract. Halley offered to take only fifty percent of Johnny's earnings. Don Corleone was amused. He dropped his offer from twenty thousand dollars to ten thousand dollars. The band leader, obviously not a man of the world outside his beloved show business, completely missed the significance of this lower offer.
--Mario Puzo, The Godfather

Tuesday, February 08, 2005


The left side of the blogalaxy is fantasizing about primary challenges to Senator Joseph Lieberman, not just because of his stands on issues in support of Our Noble Lame Duck, but mostly because of their snuggling up in public. Now we've found out how the disaffected Dems have been wronging poor Joe.
...the Navy is poised to unveil plans today to slash by up to half its planned orders for vessels that were to be built at shipyards in Bath, Maine, and Groton, Conn., that employ a combined 18,000 people.
So much for blue states, even if their members of Congress do back his agenda. That was not a romantic interlude at the State Of The Union. George was only emulating the family values of the Godfather:
He kisses his brother once again.

MICHAEL (in Sicilian): I know it was you, Fredo.
For obvious reasons, it wouldn't be possible to shoot Joe while he says a Hail Mary fishing on the lake. Instead his constituents get the knife while Pal Joey is still applauding the new Hispanic Grand Inquisitor. The Senator should have remembered the words of the Dread Pirate Roberts:
Inigo Montoya: I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.

Man in Black: No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
Or, if he didn't see that movie, he might have consulted the history books for a perfect example of what he should have expected:
A commissioner sent by the Spanish king to inquire into the charges placed him and his brother in chains and sent them to Spain. When the captain of the ship offered to free him from his fetters, Columbus proudly replied: "No, I will wear them as a memento of the gratitude of princes."

Monday, February 07, 2005


It seems that The Moderate Voice has changed from its old typepad address to a new one: www.themoderatevoice.com. Self-professed "moderates", of course, being "neither cold nor hot" (Revelation 3:16), will ever be the first targets for the revolutionists from both sides. All you partisans make a note of where to find him now so that you can stand him against the wall when the time comes.

Saturday, February 05, 2005


Now and then I check out Technorati or Google just to see who is linking to my site, so that I can add such folk to my permalinks on the sidebar (if I've missed anyone, please email me). Today I spotted another option on Google: "Find web pages that are similar to aynclouter.blogspot.com/". How their computer chose those listed is a complete mystery to me. It's not just having permalinks to similar sites, since I know of several that didn't show up here whose blogrolls have more in common with mine. Three non-blog sites on this list are real puzzles:

Agapepress offers "reliable news from a Christian source". No doubt Google's software decided that described my blog as well. Maybe what we also have in common is my tendency to often post Biblical quotes, but since I frequently do that in French, I doubt that the computer picked up on those.

Catholic Voice is "the publication of the Archdiocese of Canberra and Goulburn, Australia". I have never visited that continent or even heard of Goulburn. I once credited an Ozblog called "Hot Buttered Death" with finding a story I linked to, but that seems rather obscure. I've also cited similarly a site in Denmark, but the diocese of Copenhagen doesn't show up on this. Is this down-under magazine an Opus Dei supporter, paralleling my references to Scalia? Was it my praise of Mother Teresa's adamantine opposition to fetucide, as part of my call to canonize Bush?

Most unexpected of all on Google's list is the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, "a member of Positive Alternatives To Homosexuality (PATH) ... organizations that help people with unwanted same-sex attractions to realize their personal goals for change." Now my readers know that I am never an advocate of trying to make "positive changes" in anyone. I vastly prefer the crusading bishop's approach of kill them all and let God find his own. Could the link be my frequent mentions of that modern crusading Senator from Pennsylvania?

Friday, February 04, 2005


And the Lord Wurlitzer formed Potus of the dregs of the crowd, and pumped into his campaign the publicity of momentum; and Potus became an elected Solon.

And the Lord Wurlitzer planted a rosegarden eastward in Deecee; and there he put the Potus whom he had formed.

And out of the crowd made the Lord Wurlitzer to grow every meme that is pleasant to the ratings, and good for profit; the meme of eternal fame also in the midst of the rosegarden, and the meme of exemption from lawful and unlawful.

And the Lord Wurlitzer commanded the Potus, saying, Of every meme of the rosegarden thou mayest freely spin:

But of the meme of exemption from lawful and unlawful, thou shalt not speak of it: for in the day that thou claimest thereof thou shalt surely be impeached.

And the Lord Wurlitzer said, It is not good that the Potus should be alone; I will make him an Abogado for him.

And they were both unexempted, the Potus and his Abogado, yet were not indicted.

Now the Straussian was more subtil than any pundit of the media which the Lord Wurlitzer had made. And he said unto the Abogado, Yea, hath Wurlitzer said, Ye shall not spin of every meme of the rosegarden?

And the Abogado said unto the Straussian, We may spin of the memes of the rosegarden:

But of the meme which is in the midst of the rosegarden, Wurlitzer hath said, Ye shall not speak of it, neither shall ye claim it, lest ye be impeached.

And the Straussian said unto the Abogado, Ye shall not surely be impeached:

For Wurlitzer doth know that in the day ye learn thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, beyond statutes and Constitutions.

And when the Abogado saw that the meme was good for profit, and that it was liberating to the Erinyes, and a privilege to be desired to make one puissant, he claimed the power thereof, and did issue a memorandum, and gave also unto the Potus; and he did authorize.

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were unexempted; and they claimed emergency circumstances together, and made themselves deniability.

And they heard the voice of the Lord Wurlitzer walking in the rosegarden in the cool of the day: and the Potus and his Abogado hid themselves from the presence of the Lord Wurlitzer amongst the paper trails of the rosegarden.

And the Lord Wurlitzer called unto the Potus, and said unto him, Where art thou?

And he said, I heard thy voice in the rosegarden, and I was afraid, because I was unexempted; and I issued a Finding to protect myself.

And he said, Who told thee that thou wast unexempted? Hast thou claimed the meme, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not speak?

And the Potus said, The Abogado whom thou gavest to be with me, he told me of the meme, and I did exempt myself.

And the Lord Wurlitzer said unto the Abogado, What is this that thou hast done? And the Abogado said, The Straussian beguiled me, and I did advise exempting.

And the Lord Wurlitzer said, Behold, the Potus is become as one of us, exempt from lawful and unlawful: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also eternal fame:

Therefore I will send the Potus forth from the rosegarden of Deecee, to troll for votes the crowd from whence he was taken;

But the Abogado said, Lo, the Potus is now above the law;

And seized all the networks, and broadcasting stations, and ISPs, and newspapers, in the name of national security against the terrorist threat of un-American seditious denials of the authority of the Potus, and confined the Lord Wurlitzer himself to incarceration in Guantanamo;

And thereafter was nothing heard but praise of the Potus in the rosegarden, and his fame was eternal, as was his dominion over every thing that creepeth upon the earth.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

There are no second acts in American lives. --F. Scott Fitzgerald
Democratic ex-Presidents can be good for something besides just building houses. One has been turned into a new tool for raking in cash.
Bill Clinton remains the ultimate boogeyman for former Sen. Jesse Helms. In a fund-raising a letter for his senatorial library, Helms invokes the specter of the former president leading the United Nations after Kofi Annan retires next year. "I'm sure you might agree that putting a left-wing, undisciplined and ethically challenged former President of the United States into a position of such power would be a tragic mistake"...the letter ... contains a petition asking President Bush to "rebuke all efforts by Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, and every other liberal in Congress to push for Bill Clinton to become Secretary-General of the United Nations."
Does this remind anyone else of an old episode of Star Trek? Long after everyone else has lost interest, these two are still at each other's throats. The only question is, which one is Frank Gorshin?

But ol' Jesse has underestimated the ambition of his foe. The usual suspects abroad have something else in mind for The Clenis, and that figurehead spot isn't it. For a clue, read the latest rant from that Wicked Messenger, Seymour Hersh:
Europe is not going to tolerate us much longer. The rage there is enormous. I'm talking about our old-fashioned allies. We could see something there, collective action against us.
Since he's given up on getting the American voters to throw out Our Noble Lame Duck, he's turned from democracy to hopes of foreign occupation to impose domestic regime change. The blueprint was laid out more than forty years ago by a leftist science-fiction writer, Ward Moore, in his nightmare story, "It Becomes Necessary":
"France isn't enemy territory," she said .... "It's only one of the policing nations which --"

" 'Policing nations.' " He didn't raise his voice; he expressed his disgust softly, with a soft sneer, a soft contempt. "The U.S. isn't a two-bit country to be policed. If there's policing to be done, we do it. Policing nations, Third Force! Who do they think they are?"
Naturally their task would be a lot easier if the Euro-puppet placed in charge here were an actual American citizen, especially one many leftists still claim was the last "legitimately" elected President. Shudder at the thought of She Who Must Not Be Named installed back in the renamed Maison Blanche as our new Co-Proconsul.

A 25-year-old waitress who turned down a job providing "sexual services'' at a brothel in Berlin faces possible cuts to her unemployment benefit under laws introduced this year.

Prostitution was legalised in Germany just over two years ago and brothel owners – who must pay tax and employee health insurance – were granted access to official databases of jobseekers. ...

Under Germany's welfare reforms, any woman under 55 who has been out of work for more than a year can be forced to take an available job – including in the sex industry – or lose her unemployment benefit. Last month German unemployment rose for the 11th consecutive month to 4.5 million, taking the number out of work to its highest since reunification in 1990.

The government had considered making brothels an exception on moral grounds, but decided that it would be too difficult to distinguish them from bars. As a result, job centres must treat employers looking for a prostitute in the same way as those looking for a dental nurse.

When the waitress looked into suing the job centre, she found out that it had not broken the law. Job centres that refuse to penalise people who turn down a job by cutting their benefits face legal action from the potential employer. ...

Employers in the sex industry can also advertise in job centres, a move that came into force this month. A job centre that refuses to accept the advertisement can be sued. ...

Ulrich Kueperkoch wanted to open a brothel in Goerlitz, in former East Germany, but his local job centre withdrew his advertisement for 12 prostitutes, saying it would be impossible to find them. Mr Kueperkoch said that he was confident of demand for a brothel in the area and planned to take a claim for compensation to the highest court.

Prostitution was legalised in Germany in 2002 because the government believed that this would help to combat trafficking in women and cut links to organised crime.
It's just a logical extension of the doctrine of government having a monopoly of the provision of force. Now it wants a monopoly of the provision of pleasure too. Of course, this will undergo a slight variation when this clever new means of ensuring full employment is imported to this country. The "sex workers" will first have to give lectures about abstinence.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Il will fall in love with US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and lead the world to terror kingpin Osama bin Laden's lair.

Meanwhile, he will kidnap a famous movie director and cast Hong Kong actor Chow Yun Fat in Asia's own James Bond film.

These are among the more outrageous predictions of Hong Kong feng shui masters for the coming Year of the Rooster contained in a Chinese New Year horoscope published today by a leading bank.

Kim will also cheat death in a botched assassination plot, open up his reclusive Stalinist state's nuclear weapons plant to foreign tourists and lead the world to terror kingpin Osama bin Laden's lair, CSLA Asia Pacific Markets' annual survey of geomancers predicts.

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